Grab a box of tissues and a gallon of ice cream, everyone. It's time to mourn the loss of Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid 's romance.
The former One Direction singer confirmed on Twitter that he and the model have officially broken up following speculation from outlets like The Sun and Page Six.
"Gigi and I had an incredibly meaningful, loving and fun relationship and I have a huge amount of respect and adoration for Gigi as a woman and a friend," he tweeted to his 26.8 million followers. "She has such an incredible soul. I'm grateful to all of our fans for respecting this difficult decision and our privacy at this time, we wish this news could have come from us first. We love you all."
Shortly after, Hadid shared her own statement, saying that "there is really no way to put into words what two people experience together over a few years."
"I'm forever grateful for the love, time, and life lessons that Z and I shared," she added. "I want nothing but the best for him and will continue to support him as a friend that I have immense respect and love for. As for the future, whatever's meant to be will always be."
Or, does it? What did Hadid mean by "whatever's meant to be will always be"? Is there hope for love after all? We can't let our hearts latch onto that prospect yet; it's just too painful.
While this news came as a shock for many, some have been piecing together the clues for weeks. For starters, the last time Hadid posted anything about her relationship on Instagram was in January. (Don't click on the link if you can't handle her gushing over Malik's accomplishments.)
People noticed that Malik, too, had some suspicious Instagram activity, including unfollowing both Hadid and her mother, Yolanda. Now, he only follows 29 accounts, most of which are fan accounts devoted to his image and music. Hey, we'd need the confidence boost, too, if we'd just gone through a breakup with a Victoria's Secret model.
Though we don't know what the future holds, hopefully Hadid and Malik — and all of us, really — will find a way to heal.
If it seems everyone around you is getting married and you're figuring out how to afford travel to five weddings this summer while also helping your best friend's significant other plan the perfect surprise proposal on top of the Eiffel Tower, it can be really hard to remember that not everyone grows up dreaming of princess-cut diamonds and bouquet tosses. But that doesn't mean those people don't want to get married; they just want to do things a little differently. Or, in the case of those getting in on the trend of engagement piercings, a lot differently.
Engagement piercings are essentially the same as the microdermal piercings, a.k.a. surface anchors, you find on flat surfaces of the body, like the collarbone, back, or cheeks, but on the ring finger — in place of a traditional ring (you know, the kind with a band that can be easily slipped on and off).
If you're squirming just thinking about the pain and healing time (and the thought of it hitting the bone), we're right there with you. But Tobias Vallone, piercer at Pure Body Arts in New York, tells us that like other piercings, this one might hurt, but not any more so than another area of the body. The full healing process could take several months, in which case, you might experience some secretions around the jewellery, but nothing too out of the ordinary. And, rest assured, it won't hit close to your bone.
But before you book your engagement piercing, consider the risk factor — and the fact that not everyone feels the same way about these sentimental piercings. According to Cassi Lopez, a piercer at New York Adorned, you might want to find another way to show your eternal commitment to your partner. She confirms that, in general, microdermal piercings are safe when done by a professional, but this is the kind of trend she would stay away from.
Compared to piercings anywhere else on your body — including a barbell through your clitoral hood — these finger piercings might be the ones with the highest risk. "It's an accident waiting to happen," Lopez explains. "Think about everything you do with your hands, like reaching into your pockets, putting on gloves, or wiping yourself after you go to the bathroom. There's a huge chance of not only rejection and tearing, but a serious infection." Essentially, this engagement piercing might end up being more work than your actual marriage. But if you're still not ready to invest in diamond band, may we suggest following the lead of Beyoncé and Jay-Z and opting for a ring finger tattoo? Rings get lost, holes close up, but ink is forever.
It may have come to your attention that 2018 marks 100 years since the Representation of the People Act, which gave a select group of women in the UK (those over 30, who owned property or were graduates voting in a university constituency) the right to vote for the first time. In light of this momentous anniversary, a lot has been made of what it means to be a young feminist and activist today but sometimes it feels like the loudest voices belong to white women of a certain socioeconomic standing.
A new exhibition from We Are Here UK: British BME Women, a platform for discussion around what it means to be a British BME woman, is going some way towards redressing this imbalance. 100 Years, Today's Woman explores what suffrage really looks like in 2018 by giving 22 female BME artists, a diverse group who aren't always afforded the attention they deserve, a space to express themselves.
Cofounders Jess Nash, an illustrator and workshop facilitator, and illustrator Erin Aniker told Refinery29 that following the success of their first exhibition in Shoreditch last summer, a member of staff at the London School of Economics suggested they curate a second exhibition, this time about women's suffrage. "It's been really interesting to see how the artists have all responded to the brief – the term 'the new suffragettes' – and also to explore what intersectional feminism and women's activism and suffrage looks like today," Aniker told us. "It felt important to have a real mix of BME women artists, to represent on a small scale the diverse female society and world we live in today."
The exhibition will take place from 14th–18th March 2018 at the LSE Library, 10 Portugal Street, London, WC2A 2HD. Find out more about Nash and Aniker's artist-led, artist-run platform at we-are-here.co.uk,@WeAreHereUK and #WeAreHereUK.
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While shopping earlier this month, I experienced the best kind of fashion déjà vu moment: I glanced around my favourite fast-fashion store and realised that everything I once begged my mother to buy me in school is back in style and even better than before — and now I control the credit card. Camo pants, furry leopard everything, and Clueless -era plaid feel strangely fresh... and it's left me scratching my new Zara cap while fondly remembering my nearly-identical Wet Seal version from way back when.
Everything old is new again, but it's not just fashion that's pulling a rewind. The scrunchies, hair ribbons, and headbands we all wore back in the day are trending, too — especially the latter. Pinterest reports that the search term "headbands" is up 38% year over year, "silk headbands" has grown a whopping 122%, and "velvet headbands" is up a massive 364%. Clearly, it's time to get on board — and we'll be in good company.
Ahead, take inspiration from Tom Ford, Lupita Nyong'o, and major street-style stars on how to make the trend modern, not middle school.
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I decided to have a baby because I was bored of hangovers. It never occurred to me to drink a little less, stay in every other Friday night and book in the occasional Saturday morning yoga class. Instead I woke up one afternoon, my mouth full of acrid hangover and immediately concluded that a baby was the answer. Two Nurofen, a Coca-Cola and a box of ovulation sticks seemed the perfect antidote to another 4am finish.
I pressed life’s eject button and landed as a mum with a very different reason to be awake at 4am. Making drastic decisions on a whim and actioning them in a week became a bit of a habit. It seemed so much easier to choose an extreme exit from partying than it did to exercise some discipline and just go out a little less. Crashing into the next situation was much more appealing than having to work through anything boring, difficult or tedious.
If I have a big decision to make, it can almost feel too big to cope with, so I solve it with a close-my-eyes-and-run approach. I quit a 12-year career after giving it the overnight test, we moved into the first flat we saw, we put our kid into the one and only childminder we’d met (I still regret that choice).
London hasn’t been working for me lately, for all the usual complaints: it’s too expensive, too status-led, too cold. My solution was Bali. Obviously! We went as a family to try and live there for two months and for lots of reasons found that moving with a child to a different continent probably isn’t the answer to hating London. But why did I impulsively leap to an extreme solution, 18 hours' flight away? A weekend in Rye might have fixed it.
Impulsive behaviour can be described as ‘low-effort, feeling-based behaviour’. It’s basically easy to be impulsive; it allows you to bypass rigour, self-control and discipline. "Some people just operate on a more emotional, instinctive level than a cerebral one," says Sue Firth, a behavioural psychologist. "It might seem like you make rash decisions, but people can be processing things in the background, then when they arrive at a solution it feels sudden."
This really resonated with me; I find it hard to think logically about a problem, like when you try to do mathematics that’s beyond you. So instead of working through anything strategically, I hold the thought somewhere in my gut. And I let it percolate.
It might sound oxymoronic but I truly find comfort in chaos. I enjoy being thrown into a situation and then just having to deal with it. I get less stressed by the idea of a one-way plane ticket than an organised trip. "It’s not cool jumping from one thing to another, you know?" my boyfriend informs me. "It’s annoying." He’s right. I don’t say any of this to sound provocative or fun or cool. And I’m starting to see how annoying it is to be with someone who doesn’t think anything through logically.
"Sometimes all you need to know is what you don’t want, you don’t have to have all the answers," says Sue. This is the complete opposite of the advice I would normally expect to hear from an expert, but it makes total sense. Understanding the things you want to change can be enough.
Sue explains a process she thinks could be helpful for anyone with a poor attention span, the kind of person you might call ‘flighty’ or ‘impulsive’. She calls it Freedom of Thought. "Allow yourself to think of all the ‘what ifs’ and just play with them, play with the stupid thoughts, the brave ones, the unspeakable ones." I guess Sue is basically saying to daydream. "If you have a low boredom threshold it helps to know you’re not trapped before any resentment builds to combustion level."
Tania Keeling, a life coach who works with people to create a balanced, happy life tells me: "The most important thing for anyone to ask themselves is ‘What do you really feel in your heart?’" Even Malcolm Gladwell championed ‘The power of not thinking’ in his lauded book Blink, looking at the benefits of following our instinct rather than doing the kind of process thinking and analysis people are expected to do when presented with a big decision.
My impulsive moments have led to my son, my flat, being a freelance writer and two months in Bali, where I realised I didn't want to live but I did learn to surf. So here, in this not-thinking think-piece, I’m realising that the impulsive among us are probably always going to work on a gut level; it’s almost hardwired into us and hey, it gets us out of doing tedious pros and cons lists. But maybe sometimes I should trust my instinct to not follow my instinct.
Just when you thought the trend for defining an age group by a colour was dying a death, along comes 'Gen Z yellow', this season’s answer to millennial pink and the shade spotted on our favourite sartorial stars on the streets of fashion month. As its name indicates, love for the Easter-appropriate colour didn’t spring from the influencers and editors attending AW18 but rather from Gen Z (the group born between the mid ’90s and early ‘00s, according to Forbes).
Writer Haley Nahman coined the term last year when she spotted some changes to her usually bubblegum pink-hued Instagram feed. Suddenly, among the carnation notepads, rose vases and cherry blossom Glossier products, there appeared a sunnier, less saccharine shade: yellow. We’d argue that the trend started (as so many do) with Beyoncé. The ruffled marigold Roberto Cavalli dress she wore, complete with swinging baseball bat, in the video for Lemonade ’s “Hold Up” spawned a thousand wedding-guest imitations, but perhaps only now are we seeing the full impact of Bey’s wardrobe choice.
In the same way millennial pink was first used to reclaim femininity during a new wave of feminism being explored by a switched-on, smart generation of young women, yellow represents the optimistic outlook of the game-changing teens of Gen Z. "Yellow is the colour that best represents hope, optimism and joy. It's the universal symbol of sunshine and warmth," Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute, tells Refinery29. "All of these characteristics make it a symbolic representation of what Gen Z are looking for – a renewed hope for the future and the energy to engage in a purposeful way."
Gen Z yellow has arrived with less posturing than millennial pink; it’s not (yet) painted on the walls of every new café in London but has slowly infiltrated music videos, Instagram accounts, and interiors trends. Kylie Jenner’s sunglasses collaboration with Australian brand Quay featured some tinted yellow specs, London-based artist Joy Miessi created an account last year to collate snaps of banana and egg yolk-toned spaces she’s spotted around the city, and one scroll through photographer Petra Collins’ feed demonstrates how every shade in the yellow spectrum is worming its way into our creative subconscious.
So how would one describe Gen Z yellow? We're fans of Pantone's Meadowlark but the beauty of the trend is that no one shade appears to dominate. Sorbet lemons, zingy turmerics and rich butters are all in play this season, which could explain its appeal. Yellow has been offered up by designers season after season but has never actually made it (as a full-blown trend, at least) into stores, thanks to its limited wearability frightening buyers and consumers alike. Since appearing here, there and everywhere over the past six months, however, a multitude of shades have in fact proven totally flattering, and the perfect antidote to that ubiquitous pink.
A glimpse at the collections of SS18 will provide all the inspiration you need this season. Rodarte sent frothy sherbet dresses down a catwalk strewn with flowers, Stella McCartney's asymmetric loose-fitting mustard boiler suit (paired with practical strappy sandals) answered our spring workwear prayers, while Kenzo explored more acid-hued yellows in feathered dresses layered over pinstriped tights.
With ice-cream shades dominating our wardrobe's colour palette this season, there's plenty to remix Gen Z yellow with, making it less intimidating if you're worried about looking more Big Bird than Beyoncé. Yellow is beautiful against lilac or a soft aqua, as shown on Emili Sindlev at Paris Fashion Week, while a printed dress, preferably floral (yes, we know: groundbreaking) and combining yellow and poppy red, gives your staple spring dress a contemporary twist. Bringing several shades within the colour together – a honey-hued belt bag over a bumblebee coat, for example – keeps things interesting and, as with most colours, it pops when paired with black or white.
Sure, naming a colour after an entire generation is fairly nauseating, and can make us bored of the shade quicker than a simple 'trend' tone, but there's no doubt we could all do with more optimism in our lives. Gen Z yellow might be just the injection of cheer we need.
Tom Ford certainly doesn’t do things by halves. His first womenswear show in six years, back in 2010, featured Beyoncé, Julianne Moore and Lauren Hutton as models. He styled a naked Sophie Dahl for YSL's now infamous campaign for Opium. His directorial feature film debut, A Single Man, opened to international critical acclaim. So when you’re invited to have a makeover at his new Covent Garden beauty outpost, you know you’re not about to sit under some harsh strip lights and have contour daubed on while Radio 1 plays tinnily in the background.
In fact, you’re led beneath the main shop floor to an impossibly plush lounge, bedecked with velvet furnishings and oversized bottles of his iconic fragrances. The only sound is his soft bass profundo intoning over the speakers, discussing his inspirations. Kind of like a fashion Mufasa appearing in the sky to talk to Simba. There’s a fully functioning men’s barber chair at one end for wet shave appointments, and a dedicated fragrance lounge in the middle, but where the magic really happens is in the makeup lounge. The mirrors, unassuming as they look, are fitted with something called Memomi technology, meaning they can record your entire makeover as you go, then email you a perfectly edited video for you to dissect at home.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had their makeup professionally done, been amazed with the bold colours chosen and the benefit of a fresh pair of eyes, vowed to try it at home – and drawn a blank when it’s time to get ready to go out. Fear of getting it wrong, not remembering what products were used or indeed how they were used, often turns us back to our tried and tested routines, with little room for experimentation. Memomi and Tom Ford are hoping to put an end to all that by giving you a bespoke beauty vlog, with you in the starring role, tailored to your every need.
Finally in the hot seat, my artist runs me through the process. Would I prefer the filming starts once I have foundation on? "Some ladies prefer not to go bare-faced, even for themselves," she explains. However, I’ve been familiar with my makeup-free face for 24 years, so give her the go ahead to start right away. The mirror, when in filming mode, has a couple of touchscreen buttons that remind me of an iPad, which my artist taps to stop and start the recording to ask me if I think the shade of the foundation is right, or if I want more concealer. It also splits the film into parts – base, contour, eyes, lips and blush – and gives the artist the power to edit out sections if you change your mind about a particular hue.
I look into the camera as we apply an essence, primer, eye cream, foundation and concealer, then my artist pauses the recording and heads to a different page with a list of products, selects everything she’s used (which will form a regime, also to be emailed), before we move on to eyes. I’m nervous about the vivid orange of the ‘Infrared’ shadow she wants to use, but she assuages any doubt by applying it sparingly to the centre of my lids. I was ready to politely tolerate it but actually, I really like it. Same goes for eyeliner – I usually prefer a dark brown pencil but she persuades me to try black and she’s right; it doesn’t look too harsh.
Emboldened, I let her go to town with the contour and blush: two areas where I usually keep it very soft. But again, I’m pleasantly surprised – the elegant textures melt beautifully onto my skin without any muddiness.
Watching the video back at home is funny. There’s no music, for one. I’m not saying it would add much value, I’m just used to some jaunty ukulele in the background of beauty videos. Also, most of it is just my own face peering up at me. Once I get over how strange it is to essentially watch surveillance footage of yourself (is this how it feels to be a Kardashian?), I pick up on a few things. I usually swear by a Beautyblender-and-fingers combo for my base, but the brush she’s using leaves a wonderfully natural finish. I carefully study the placement and blending of that pop of colour, and bravely dip my brush into the untouched brights of my palette. She’s right; orange somehow works brilliantly on my eyes – which I never would have guessed – and black is a better evening option for me. I’ve also long been curious to try Tom Ford's bestselling Shade & Illuminate Contour Duo, but been thrown by the creamy texture. Now I can see exactly how much to apply and how deftly to buff it for maximum impact.
I’m pretty confident with makeup, but the service would be great for anyone looking to brush up on their skills, too. Whatever you want to master, whether it’s a no-makeup-makeup look, a daytime smoky eye or just a general overhaul, this allows you to have a professional in your pocket, ready to show you the ropes whenever you want to watch. It’s the next best thing to your own glam squad.
Appointments from £50, redeemable against purchases. Call 0370 192 5902 for bookings.
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If you feel like you're in need of a little self-care this spring, you're not alone. Taking a break from normal life to relax and indulge can have benefits for your physical and mental health. But if the thought of reclining in a spa with a towel wrapped around your head and cucumber slices over your eyes seems a little stale, what can you do instead?
All over the country, spas are regenerating and renewing. Today, it's about going back to basics. Gone are the days of rushing through your two-hour slot and avoiding eye contact with that overly comfortable old man in the sauna. Instead, head to the great outdoors where you can soak away your stress in your own private hot tub under the stars, or swap the stuffiness of a steam room for fresh woodland air.
Click through for our pick of the UK's natural spas.
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The belief that all millennials are obsessed with avocados is one of the most bizarrely persistent myths of our age. By this point, the creamy fruit has become a lazy way for out-of-touch older journalists, commentators and marketers to talk down to young people – because if we're taking time to enjoy the odd brunch outside the comforts of our shoebox flat (and potentially Instagramming it in the process), our concerns aren't worth taking seriously, right?
Last year, our so-called penchant was used to blame us for the recent global, generational shifts in the property market, with the Australian millionaire and luxury property developer Tim Gurner telling us that our spending habits are holding us back from being able to buy our own homes – rather than an ill-fated combination of stagnant wages and spiralling house prices in the big cities in which we'd like to live.
“When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each," he lectured, before the world pointed out that, er, even if we stopped buying avocado toast it would still take many of us centuries to be able to afford a home, as things stand. Young people were, unsurprisingly, bloodthirsty in their retorts.
Given the intensity of these worldwide avocado-based blunders – and how recent they were – the latest PR stunt from Virgin Trains is amazingly bad. In light of the high demand for the 26-30 Millennial Railcard which went on sale yesterday, the train company is offering millennials a third off their rail fares if they "present an avocado" at the station when buying their ticket. "And after buying their tickets...[the fruit] can be enjoyed as a healthy snack!" the company quipped.
Didn't bag a Millennial Railcard? Have no fear! Simply present an avocado in place of your railcard when booking your ticket and you'll be entitled to the same fantastic 1/3 off discount for one week only. Full details here: https://t.co/7Dp48RWzgp 🥑 #Avocard#railcardpic.twitter.com/NLhPfbD2yp
"Did you miss out on the chance to get your hands on the 26-30 railcard? Fear not!" reads a statement on its website. "After such high demand, we wanted to make sure that the 'Millennial Railcard' was available to anyone who wanted it. Introducing the #avocard, our very own temporary railcard."
Yes, really, the #avocard
Yes, really, the #avocard. And to top off the oh-so-millennial avocado reference and hashtag, they've garnished their announcement tweet with an avocado emoji. So trendy, modern and original.
The idea may have been well intentioned and any discount these days is to be welcomed, but not only is referencing avocados when talking to young people condescending, irrelevant and lazy, the discount barely puts a dent in the cost of a train ticket. Like the millennial railcard, between 4.30am-10am Monday to Friday it can only be used on fares costing at least £12, and doesn't include advance fares.
So when you consider the astronomical costs of UK rail travel – £338 for an anytime standard return trip from London to Manchester, anyone? – and the recent January price hike and public protests over shabby service, the gesture looks like nothing more than a PR stunt designed to piss off cash-strapped young people. What's more, the discount only lasts a week, until midnight on 20th March.
Virgin Trains is known among passengers for its faux cutesy, patronising way of speaking to customers – toilet signs in its carriages famously advise against flushing "old phones, unpaid bills, junk mail, your ex's sweater, hopes, dreams or goldfish" down the loo – and if its future marketing continues in this vein, it's only a matter of time before we can expect a #Snowflake campaign offering us safe spaces in which to get offended about the news and social issues.
Uniqlo sure knows how to deliver a designer collaboration we can get behind. From 2009's collection with Jil Sander (which went on for five seasons) to J.W.Anderson's recent sellout rainbow-bright knits and tartan bags, Uniqlo's choice of creatives always results in a crashed website and highly sought-after pieces.
Today, the high street hero announced the drop date and more details of its next collaboration, with Bottega Veneta's creative director, Tomas Maier. Launching online and in-store from 17th May, the line is Uniqlo's first 'resort wear' venture.
A statement from the brand read: "This collaboration fuses Tomas Maier’s 'time off' and 'escape' philosophy with Uniqlo’s commitment to create high-quality clothing that is universal in design, comfort and made for everyone, everywhere. The collection helps people get away from it all, whether relaxing at a resort or winding down after a busy day at work."
Featuring pops of colour by way of lilac tees and bikinis, tangerine knits and loose shirts, and botanic-printed dresses, the collab has us looking forward to longer days, sundowners and sea swims. The sun-kissed hues are inspired by Maier's Florida roots – something he's known for with his own eponymous brand, which has the Floridian palm tree as its symbol.
Prices range from £19.90 for swimwear to £89.90 for knitwear, but the real hook is the quality of the collection, often overlooked when designers take to the high street.
“Our new collection is designed to work in many different ways. Beach attire can turn into lounge wear, casual cover-ups paired with polo shirts can easily be worn in town – this is the concept of my brand," Maier said of the line. "Things work in many ways. Even if bought for a special trip or occasion the customer will soon discover these garments adapt to a year-round life.”
Time to book a beach break, stat. Click through to see our favourite pieces from Tomas Maier x Uniqlo Resort Wear.
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Wednesday morning, news broke that Stephen Hawking passed away at his home in Cambridge. He was 76. A brilliant mind and force, Hawking was famously pithy. As we celebrate his achievements, let us reflect on his most affecting quotes.
Original story follows.
Stephen Hawking was a true inspiration to millions not only for his many achievements, but also for his determination. Hawking was diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), a rare form of motor neurone disease, at the age of 21 with doctors initially only giving him a few years to live. However, he thwarted all expectations and went on to make major breakthroughs in the study of phenomena such as black holes and cosmic inflations. His bestselling account of the origins of the universe, A Brief History of Time went on to become a contemporary classic.
Stephen Hawking's life was one of triumph, even being celebrated in the film, The Theory of Everything, starring Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones.
Hawking was a remarkable man and his influence on modern science is undeniable. He was brilliant. He exceeded all expectations with regard to his life expectancy and quality of life. Ahead, in honour of his life, 15 of his most inspirational quotes.
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Do you ever listen to the same song over and over again without getting bored? If not, you've probably had a builder with a penchant for Ed Sheeran or a flatmate with an annoying Foo Fighters habit. It's extremely common – and easy – to listen to the same song on loop. But it's rare to stop and think why you're doing it.
In a new study, published in the journal Psychology of Music, researchers explored the phenomenon of "extreme re-listening" and their findings may shed some light on your own unexpected addiction to Taylor Swift's latest release (us too).
Researchers from the University of Michigan quizzed 204 men and women, in their 30s or younger, about the tunes they were “listening to most often these days”, their connection to the song, what aspects of the song had them hooked and how the music made them feel, reported BPS Research Digest.
Participants cited a wide range of songs as their favourites within a wide range of genres: mostly pop and rock, but also rap, country, jazz and reggae. Nearly two thirds (60%) claimed to enjoy re-listening to their chosen song almost immediately, with some even claiming to listen three or four times in a row.
When it came to the psychological stuff – the feelings their songs evoked – the music tended to fall in one of three categories. More than two thirds of the songs had a happy, energetic vibe (making listeners feel “Pumped up! Excited! Ready to dance, sing, and love!”); others were calm and relaxed (with participants saying "It makes me feel at ease, calm, and helps me to put things into perspective”); and the remainder were bittersweet (“It makes me feel sad. But not the bad kind of sad, and I like singing with it”).
The most interesting finding to emerge? The bittersweet songs were the most listened to – with an average of 790 listens, compared to 515 for calm songs and 175 for happy songs. Bittersweet melodies were also the most likely to evoke the deepest connections and to enable listeners to build a “mental model” of the song, namely, the listeners were more likely to be able to replay the song in their head.
Based on personal experience, this sounds about right. Play me Rihanna and Drake's "Whats My Name?" and I can virtually taste the apple VK and feel the sticky nightclub floors that were a key feature of my first term of university. Now, when I feel low I often listen to the song on a loop to remind me of those simpler, teenage times. Bittersweet indeed.
Music, with all its attached emotions and memories, helps us to relive moments in our lives that we don't want to forget, and our most-played lists can provide a fascinating insight into our own psychologies. Why not scour through your own Spotify or iTunes in the name of self knowledge?
“Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always” — Rainer Maria Rilke
Shannon Washington has it all: The career, the life, everything. She's a successful creative director who has worked with several of your favourite beauty brands. She also made time to co-found Feminist Enough, a storytelling project which gives a fresh voice to women of colour and modern feminist ideals, powered by video and social media. On LinkedIn her career seems perfect, but just like with all social media, it only tells a small part of the story.
In this episode of The Failure Project, Washington shares the rest of the story, not just the highlights. She talks about what her journey was really like.
Washington walks us through what it was like to be a first-generation college student who finds out part way through her degree that pre-med isn’t going to work out; what it was like to lose her scholarships and convince her mum that getting a creative degree would all work out; what it was like to get fired from her first job. With time and perspective, Washington has come to realise that it was those very failures that have made her who she is. It opened the doors for the life she has now.
So what's Washington’s advice when you are in that moment feeling like a failure? “Throw on some mascara and Cardi B, and figure that shit out.” Watch the video above for more of her advice.
The Failure Project: Life isn't glossy; it isn't Insta-perfect. But at any given moment there are a million reasons not to feel like you are good enough, from being late to your hair appointment to your weight to your work to school to your personal life — and everything in-between. It becomes all too easy to look at the shiny perfections that social media offers us and take it as the real story. But it's not the whole story. We gathered some inspirational and aspirational people together to tell us the things that don't make it to social media. The moments they failed, the times it didn't work out, what they've learned along the way. Our goal? To start a conversation about failure, and celebrate the other side of the journey.
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The days are getting longer and the spring fever is starting to set in (we promise). But before you fully embrace the frenetic energy that kicks in around the vernal equinox, you probably ought to tackle at least little spring cleaning. Whether you choose to focus your deep cleanse on your wardrobe or personal life, there's a plant with healing, spiritual properties that can fuel your efforts.
While it never hurts to have a sprig of rosemary or a few honeysuckle blossoms in your house, it's especially important to keep plants that are associated with protection, love, and purity handy in the springtime. They'll imbue your living space with a sense of security and the promise of a fresh start. And, if you ask us, those are the exact vibes we're trying to feel as we thaw out after winter.
Ahead, we've rounded up some of the best plants and herbs to keep in your home and garden to celebrate the vernal equinox. Read on to learn more about their spiritual properties and what makes them perfect for the springtime.
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The first is that the interviewer asked Jenner about rumours that she's gay. No one should have to answer questions about their sexuality (even celebrities who get asked invasive questions all the time). If someone is gay, it's up to them to choose when and how to tell someone (or the whole world, in Jenner's case). But the biggest problem here isn't the question — it's how the story sets up the big reveal.
"Kendall Jenner — a tomboy who collects vintage cars, prefers sneaks and jeans and a hoodie, and rolls with a squad of mostly guys — is not gay," it reads.
A woman who likes to dress comfortably, thinks cars are cool, and hangs out with men is straight? Whaaaat?
Oh, wait, this actually isn't shocking at all. Straight women have all kinds of interests and can dress however they want. What's also not shocking, but definitely disappointing, is the framing of this information. It rolls a whole bunch of gay stereotypes into one sentence and, in doing so, bolsters the widely-held misconception that all gay women look and act alike.
Assuming that "masculine" traits, like feeling at home in a hoodie and a pair of sneakers, can indicate someone's sexuality erases feminine queer women like me. We call it "femme invisibility," and it's an issue that we deal with all the time. When the assumption is that all queer women dress, talk, walk, or act masculine, our identity gets erased.
As queer writer Ivan Coyote wrote in their poem, “To All of the Kick-Ass, Beautiful, Fierce Femmes Out There": "Sometimes, you are invisible. I have no idea what this must feel like, to pass right by your people and not be recognised, to not be seen."
It feels isolating. When we were newly out in college, I and other femmes I knew would do whatever it took to make ourselves seen. We'd line our backpacks with so many rainbow pins that they were basically metal and wear shirts with slogans like "Legalise Gay" or "Vagatarian." Some decided to get a "lesbian haircut" and then later regretted it. But even when we made every indication that we're gay, some people still wouldn't believe us.
Take Lauren, for example. She was the badass, high-femme, lesbian director of programming at my college's LGBTQ+ resource centre. When a straight man from the campus newspaper came in to interview her one day, he took one look at her fierce, pointy heels and fully-made face and said, "You're too pretty to be gay."
That's not an uncommon experience. When Lauren told us that story during an LGBTQ+ discussion group one night, two other women piped up to say that the same thing happened to them at frat parties and even in the local gay club. Both straight and gay people still have a hard time believing that feminine women can be gay. Queer femmes have actually been told that they don't belong in queer spaces because they don't "look" gay. And that makes femmes feel both invisible and ostracised.
So, maybe Kendall Jenner isn't gay, but I am. I know nothing about cars, my closet is full of dresses, and the only straight man I regularly talk to is my girlfriend's roommate (because, you know, I don't want to be rude). I'm not the kind of person who comes to mind when most people hear the word "lesbian." Does that mean gay women can't be vintage car-loving, sneaks and jeans-wearing tomboys who hang out with men? Of course not. I'm sure a gay woman who fits that exact description exists somewhere in the world. But we don't all look the same, and juxtaposing Jenner's more "masculine" traits with her sexuality plays into stereotypes that misrepresent the queer community as a whole.
We're a diverse group of people, with butches and femmes and lots of people whose gender presentation falls somewhere in the middle, and we all deserve to be seen.
Per the new report, the accusation comes from reggae singer Michael May, whose stage name is Flourgon. May states that Cyrus and her label RCA Records used seven words from his 1988 song "We Run Things" on "We Can't Stop."
The lyrics in question on "We Can't Stop" are "We run things/Things don't run we." In May's track, the lyrics state: "We run things/Things no run we."
Here is Flourgon's track.
And here "We Can't Stop" by Cyrus.
It is unclear why May chose now to come forward about the song lyrics.
Per Reuters, May was reportedly granted a copyright for all musical arrangements on "We Run Things" at the US Copyright Office in November of 2017. According to Reuters, a representative for May states that Cyrus "owes the basis of its chart-topping popularity to and its highly-lucrative success to plaintiff May’s protected, unique, creative and original content."
Per a press statement from May's lawyer, that adds up to an estimated $300 million (£215 million).
May also wants Cyrus to cease performing the song (yes, May is asking Cyrus to stop) as well as to halt all future sales of the track, Reuters reports.
This is not the first time a popular pop song was accused of ripping off lyrics. Taylor Swift was recently sued by the writers of the 3LW song "Players Gon' Play," for allegedly copying their lyrics for her song "Shake It Off." The lawsuit was ultimately dismissed in January.
Refinery29 has reached out to representatives for Cyrus for comment and will update this post should we hear back.
Every woman, from those blessed with XL breasts to those flat as a board, knows how long it takes to build a relationship with your bra. After getting initially acquainted (boobs, meet bra; bra, meet boobs) you have to invest a lot of patience, money and give or take a few existential crises in lingerie dressing rooms before you can fully appreciate your bra.
From going to your first fitting to taking it off in front of someone for the first time, you’ll go through so much together. We’ve all got history with our bras, but even though at times the branger is real, it’ll always be there to support you… literally.
Whether you wear “my eyes are up here” kinda push-ups, delicate lace bralettes, heavy duty sports bras or bras that can potentially save your life, every woman goes through six relationship stages with her bra.
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We Brits are known for being a bit prudish and often, our health suffers because of it. According to a survey by Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, around 3,000 women are diagnosed with cervical cancer every year in the UK, and it’s the most common cancer in women aged 35 and under. Smear tests can prevent 75% of these cases, yet a third of the women surveyed said they delayed getting a smear test because of embarrassment. It sounds extreme, but our unease with our vaginas could literally kill us.
And we aren’t the only ones with this problem. Nina Brochmann and Ellen Stokken Dahl have been travelling the world talking about vaginas since writing their book The Wonder Down Under. First published in Norway last year, the ‘user guide to the vagina’ has just been released in the UK, on International Women’s Day.
One of the biggest reasons Ellen and Nina started working in this area as medical students was Norway’s lacklustre sex education. They also joined a national scheme helping sex workers and refugees.
Then in 2015 they started a blog called The Genitals. Originally aimed at poorly educated teenagers, they soon found that their audience was much, much bigger – to date, the pieces on their site have been read 1.4 million times. A host of book deals later, it turns out there was more of an appetite for discussion of this topic – by people who knew their stuff – than they could have ever imagined.
It’s not just their topic that’s unique, it’s their refreshingly non-judgemental approach to all things female. And most importantly: the emphasis they put on women’s desire. “Education is about restricting sex, it’s not pro-sex,” says Ellen. “We need to discuss female desire. We don’t learn enough about that in high school. If you don’t write about female desire then women don’t know the size of their own clitoris.”
In the book, Nina and Ellen don’t shy away from anything, exploring periods, sex, babies, discharge, virginity and female genital mutilation – all with a clinical eye and a practical and engaging approach. You won’t believe half the stuff you learn from reading it – or rather, you won’t believe you didn’t know it already. They even have some incredible revelations about the clitoris, a part of the female anatomy which has been hugely underserved by the male-driven world of science. “People just don’t find it very important. But it’s empowering for women,” says Ellen.
The extent to which Britain's limited sex education is skewed towards not getting pregnant will ring true with anyone who's ever tried for a baby. Only last month doctors from the Fertility Education Initiative told The Times that girls needed to be taught more about how and when to get pregnant. Ellen is noticing the repercussions of this knowledge gap right now, aged 31: "All of my girlfriends are trying to get pregnant. And I can’t tell you how many calls I get asking ‘How do I get pregnant?’" she says incredulously. “We spend all of our youth trying not to get pregnant, and then suddenly we’re like – how does this even work?!”
There are of course many reasons why women aren’t able to talk about their health openly and comfortably. Nina experienced this firsthand, growing up in the more conservative west of Norway. “It’s very hard to be open about who you are in more conservative cultures,” she recognises. “Our work with refugees was one of the things that really motivated us to start off with this work,” adds Ellen. “We met women who were scared of using contraception because they were scared people in their family would find out and think they were having sex. But they weren’t, they were just having really painful or problematic periods, and they needed contraception for that but they were scared to use it because of the social repercussions.”
But this goes further than religion and cultural practices. One of the biggest myths that the pair is trying to bust is entrenched in popular culture; what they call "the vagina fraud". Put simply? “There’s absolutely no medical test that can prove if a woman is a virgin or not.” But what about the hymen? “There’s so many examples in popular culture, where people talk about the hymen and virginity, as if you are totally different before and after.” Even practised doctors have absolutely no way of telling whether a woman is a virgin. “This holiness about the vagina is unhealthy. You wouldn’t call a lesbian grown woman with lots of sexual experience a virgin, it’s absurd.”
So how has this myth stuck around for so long? “Every culture has been spending so much attention on female virginity and not male virginity,” suggests Nina, explaining that it may have a lot to do with men wanting to make sure they were bringing up their own children. Women know their baby is theirs; they live with it for nine months. Men don’t. “It comes down to men trying to control a woman,” says Nina matter-of-factly.
From virginity to pregnancy to the anatomy of our vaginas, there is so much that we don’t know. And this is a problem, for men and women, because women’s everyday problems aren’t taken seriously. At all. “The point is that the majority of society are heterosexual and live in heterosexual couples when we are adults, so we spend a lot of our adult lives with men,” says Ellen. “And the fact that we can’t talk openly about these things that are such a huge part of our lives, really puts a strain on women.”
Time to get to know The Wonder Down Under.
For more news and reporting on cosmetic and non-cosmetic procedures targeted at women's vaginas, visit our#YourVaginasFinemicrosite.
A couple of years back, after an unexpected and gut-wrenching break-up, I was all over the place – so I threw myself into my yoga practice in the hope of regaining some equilibrium. One day I saw a flyer on the noticeboard at the yoga studio. “Reduce stress and manage emotions,” it said. “Detach and refocus. Instil calm.” Oh yes please, I thought. But what was it? Mindfulness? Meditation? Buddhist chanting? No. Sophrology.
Soph-what? “Almost nobody knows about sophrology in the UK,” said Francoise Falaise, a Belgian who would become my sophrology teacher. “There are thousands of practitioners on the continent, but it’s still just beginning here.” The intention of our first session together, she said, would be "to take distance from tensions and refocus".
And so we began our sessions, meeting weekly. Some very simple breathing exercises and gentle body movement were followed by a guided meditation where I lay on the floor and Francoise talked me through a relaxing journey of letting go. It was very nice but so subtle I wondered if I was missing something. I did feel very calm afterwards, though.
The objective of the next session was to “install detachment”. We did neck exercises – with mindful breathing, I gently shook my head to say ‘no’ to negative emotions and nodded to say ‘yes’ to detachment. It felt a bit weird, but fine. I exhaled negativity and breathed in detachment, followed by more exercises to reinforce assertiveness (mindful breathing while stretching and reaching upwards) and a ‘virtual walk’ where I walked on the spot, visualising my capacity to walk away from emotional upset in a controlled way.
Afterwards I did feel curiously detached. Francoise said that in order for these feelings to become integrated within me, I needed to do the exercises at home too, so that they became part of my daily routine. Luckily they were very simple and didn’t take long. It felt like the subtle installation of a sort of time delay between feelings and my reactions to them – almost like a body-based cognitive behavioural therapy.
After a few more sessions, Francoise moved to Panama City and I got on with my yoga, my busted heart taped back together with sophrology and vinyasa flow.
The practice is set to expand in the UK. Swiss sophrology teacher Dominique Antiglio has just written a comprehensive English-language book, including audio, for home practice: The Life-Changing Power Of Sophrology. She has a practice in Mayfair, London.
“There are dozens of titles in French,” she says. “Sophrology for athletes, the corporate world, sleeping, pregnancy, midwifery..."
The founder of sophrology, Alfonso Caycedo, travelled around China, Tibet and India, distilling the teachings of yoga, meditation and Buddhism, and translating them for the West. It’s access to consciousness for everyone, without having to spend years meditating or standing on your head. It’s a simple, powerful technique. Having said that, there are 12 levels of sophrology, so you can go as deeply into it as you wish.
Antiglio explains: “The key differentiator between sophrology and mindfulness or meditation is the ability to take control of how we handle situations and feel about outcomes – one of the principles in sophrology states that we can decide how we are going to experience certain events even when we can't change them.
“We are therefore responsible for our experience and how we respond to situations. It is more dynamic than meditation and uses a number of techniques including breathing, relaxation, body awareness and visualisation to help you connect with your resilience and improve your mental and physical health.”
Irish sophrologist Niamh Borrel used the practice to help with chronic pain. “The main difference between sophrology and other methods is that you can reach a deep level of zen state much quicker – sometimes even in one session, depending on the individual,” she says. “We call this the sophroliminal level of consciousness. The beauty of sophrology is that you can do it anywhere. There is no need for special gear. You can do it sitting down, standing up or lying down.
“It can be easily used by someone in a hospital bed about to go into surgery, or by someone just sitting enjoying the present moment on a train, or by athletes using it to increase mental focus, or ballerinas and gymnasts. Or even parents dealing with a stressful day at work, and later on with hyperactive kids at home.”
So there you have it. It’s not yoga, it’s not mindfulness, it’s not meditation, it’s not T’ai Chi – and it’s not yet established in the English-speaking world. But if it’s used effectively by everyone from women in labour to Olympic athletes, it can only be a matter of time before sophrology enters our wellness lexicon.
6 things to know aboutsophrology
1. The term comes from the Greek ‘sos’ (harmony) and ‘phren’ (mind).
2. It was founded around 1960 by Colombian neuropsychiatrist, Alfonso Caycedo at the University of Madrid. He combined various influences – hypnosis, Western relaxation methods, Japanese zen, yoga, and Buddhist meditation – to treat depression, and war veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder.
3. Unlike traditional talking therapies, sophrology is not about discussing the narrative of your life; it’s about zooming out, and creating a space between your inner emotional balance and any difficult feelings. You don’t suppress your feelings but consciously let them go and redirect them, using physical movement and breath work.
4. Sophrology is currently used by the French rugby team, its uses within sports psychology discovered when the Swiss ski team won lots of medals at the Grenoble Winter Olympics in 1968 after being coached by sophrologist Dr. Raymond Abrezol.
5. As well as being used to help treat sleep disorders and in preparing for birth, sophrology may also have benefits for sufferers of stage fright and exam nerves.
6. Such is its popularity in France and Switzerland that sophrology is routinely covered by health insurance; it is even taught in schools, to help kids manage the rigours of adolescence.
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Have you ever found the perfect jumper, only to get caught between two beautiful shades? Instead of putting yourself through apparel anxiety, why not buy a jumper (or skirt, or dress) that does both colours in one? Whether you call it two-tone, bicolour or colour blocking, the trend is appearing on the catwalk, in beauty – even interior design.
As seen at Roksanda SS18, a pink satin gown layered over trousers in red, yellow or blue is a fresh take on casual elegance. The likes of Céline, Molly Goddard and Fyodor Golan have also embraced contrasting colours for their spring collections. Where monochrome has long been the favoured twosome, spring style is going beyond black and white to a world of colour combinations. Of all painterly pairs, pink and red continues to reign supreme, as seen in Kitri's much sought-after Phoebe pink rollneck jumper, which sold out within 48 hours. “Colour blocking is the best way to modernise simple silhouettes and give a vibrant and fashion-forward edge,’' says Haeni Kim, the brand's founder.
We may have missed our chance at the Phoebe jumper but there's a wealth of two-tone treasures still out there. Click on for our favourites...
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