Quantcast
Channel: Refinery29
Viewing all 19505 articles
Browse latest View live

Zayn Malik & Gigi Hadid Confirm Their Split After Two Years Together

0
0

Grab a box of tissues and a gallon of ice cream, everyone. It's time to mourn the loss of Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid 's romance.

The former One Direction singer confirmed on Twitter that he and the model have officially broken up following speculation from outlets like The Sun and Page Six.

"Gigi and I had an incredibly meaningful, loving and fun relationship and I have a huge amount of respect and adoration for Gigi as a woman and a friend," he tweeted to his 26.8 million followers. "She has such an incredible soul. I'm grateful to all of our fans for respecting this difficult decision and our privacy at this time, we wish this news could have come from us first. We love you all."

Shortly after, Hadid shared her own statement, saying that "there is really no way to put into words what two people experience together over a few years."

"I'm forever grateful for the love, time, and life lessons that Z and I shared," she added. "I want nothing but the best for him and will continue to support him as a friend that I have immense respect and love for. As for the future, whatever's meant to be will always be."

Sadly, this means no more joint Vogue covers, no more wondering if he did or didn't tattoo Gigi's eyes on his chest, no more cute nicknames, and no more romantic evenings spent cooking together.

Or, does it? What did Hadid mean by "whatever's meant to be will always be"? Is there hope for love after all? We can't let our hearts latch onto that prospect yet; it's just too painful.

While this news came as a shock for many, some have been piecing together the clues for weeks. For starters, the last time Hadid posted anything about her relationship on Instagram was in January. (Don't click on the link if you can't handle her gushing over Malik's accomplishments.)

People noticed that Malik, too, had some suspicious Instagram activity, including unfollowing both Hadid and her mother, Yolanda. Now, he only follows 29 accounts, most of which are fan accounts devoted to his image and music. Hey, we'd need the confidence boost, too, if we'd just gone through a breakup with a Victoria's Secret model.

Though we don't know what the future holds, hopefully Hadid and Malik — and all of us, really — will find a way to heal.

Read These Stories Next:
Zayn & Gigi Got Their Moms Together For A Special Celebration
Gigi Posted The Sexiest Selfie With Zayn — But Did She Delete It?
Vogue Apologises For "Missing The Mark" With Gigi & Zayn Shoot

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

R. Kelly Survivor Reveals What Made Her Abuse Ordeal More Traumatic

R. Kelly Pleads Not Guilty To Charges Of Aggravated Sexual Abuse

The Most Shocking Details About The Jussie Smollett Case


Why You Should Think Twice Before Getting An "Engagement Piercing"

0
0

If it seems everyone around you is getting married and you're figuring out how to afford travel to five weddings this summer while also helping your best friend's significant other plan the perfect surprise proposal on top of the Eiffel Tower, it can be really hard to remember that not everyone grows up dreaming of princess-cut diamonds and bouquet tosses. But that doesn't mean those people don't want to get married; they just want to do things a little differently. Or, in the case of those getting in on the trend of engagement piercings, a lot differently.

Engagement piercings are essentially the same as the microdermal piercings, a.k.a. surface anchors, you find on flat surfaces of the body, like the collarbone, back, or cheeks, but on the ring finger — in place of a traditional ring (you know, the kind with a band that can be easily slipped on and off).

If you're squirming just thinking about the pain and healing time (and the thought of it hitting the bone), we're right there with you. But Tobias Vallone, piercer at Pure Body Arts in New York, tells us that like other piercings, this one might hurt, but not any more so than another area of the body. The full healing process could take several months, in which case, you might experience some secretions around the jewellery, but nothing too out of the ordinary. And, rest assured, it won't hit close to your bone.

A post shared by Stasis (@wilstasis) on

A post shared by Patrycja Nowak (@patrysiekk) on

But before you book your engagement piercing, consider the risk factor — and the fact that not everyone feels the same way about these sentimental piercings. According to Cassi Lopez, a piercer at New York Adorned, you might want to find another way to show your eternal commitment to your partner. She confirms that, in general, microdermal piercings are safe when done by a professional, but this is the kind of trend she would stay away from.

A post shared by Stasis (@wilstasis) on

Compared to piercings anywhere else on your body — including a barbell through your clitoral hood — these finger piercings might be the ones with the highest risk. "It's an accident waiting to happen," Lopez explains. "Think about everything you do with your hands, like reaching into your pockets, putting on gloves, or wiping yourself after you go to the bathroom. There's a huge chance of not only rejection and tearing, but a serious infection." Essentially, this engagement piercing might end up being more work than your actual marriage. But if you're still not ready to invest in diamond band, may we suggest following the lead of Beyoncé and Jay-Z and opting for a ring finger tattoo? Rings get lost, holes close up, but ink is forever.

Read these stories next:
Engagement Tattoos Are The New Diamond Rings
The 5 New Engagement-Ring Trends Every Cool Bride Should See
50 Stunning Engagement Rings For Alt-Brides

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

20 Reasons You Should Stan Ariana Grande's Ever-Evolving Ponytail

The Biggest Beauty Moments You Didn't See At The Oscars

Bradley Cooper Who? Irina Shayk's Chic Bob Deserves An Oscar

11 Fresh Images That Sum Up Being A Modern British Woman

0
0

It may have come to your attention that 2018 marks 100 years since the Representation of the People Act, which gave a select group of women in the UK (those over 30, who owned property or were graduates voting in a university constituency) the right to vote for the first time. In light of this momentous anniversary, a lot has been made of what it means to be a young feminist and activist today but sometimes it feels like the loudest voices belong to white women of a certain socioeconomic standing.

A new exhibition from We Are Here UK: British BME Women, a platform for discussion around what it means to be a British BME woman, is going some way towards redressing this imbalance. 100 Years, Today's Woman explores what suffrage really looks like in 2018 by giving 22 female BME artists, a diverse group who aren't always afforded the attention they deserve, a space to express themselves.

Cofounders Jess Nash, an illustrator and workshop facilitator, and illustrator Erin Aniker told Refinery29 that following the success of their first exhibition in Shoreditch last summer, a member of staff at the London School of Economics suggested they curate a second exhibition, this time about women's suffrage. "It's been really interesting to see how the artists have all responded to the brief – the term 'the new suffragettes' – and also to explore what intersectional feminism and women's activism and suffrage looks like today," Aniker told us. "It felt important to have a real mix of BME women artists, to represent on a small scale the diverse female society and world we live in today."

The exhibition will take place from 14th–18th March 2018 at the LSE Library, 10 Portugal Street, London, WC2A 2HD. Find out more about Nash and Aniker's artist-led, artist-run platform at we-are-here.co.uk, @WeAreHereUK and #WeAreHereUK.

Illustration by east London-based illustrator and 'We Are Here' cofounder Erin Aniker.

Artwork: Courtesy of Erin Aniker.

"Mount Rushmore" by Jess Nash, a workshop facilitator, illustrator and 'We Are Here' cofounder.

Artwork: Courtesy of Jess Nash.

"Women Will Unite Us" by Mona Chalabi, data editor at Guardian US and the coolest person on Instagram right now.

Artwork: Courtesy of Mona Chalabi.

"Self-care" by Catherine M-A, an illustrator for gal-dem.

Artwork: Courtesy of Catherine M-A.

An untitled illustration by Manjit Thapp, the illustrator behind The Little Book of Feminist Saints.

Artwork: Courtesy of Manjitt Thapp.

"Cara" by Kim Thompson, an illustrator, artist and storyboard artist based in the northwest of England.

Artwork: Courtesy of Kim Thompson.

An untitled photo by Muslim Sisterhood, a photography collective founded by LSE alumni, championing and changing stereotypes of Muslim women in London.

Photo: Courtesy of Muslim Sisterhood.

"A Prayer" by Saffa Khan, a freelance illustrator and printmaker specialising in the themes of home, identity, race, culture, religion and mental health.

Artwork: courtesy of Saffa Khan.

"Iman" by Shingi Rice, aka Blue Spit Photography, a photographer, stylist and creative director based in London.

Artwork: Courtesy of Shingi Rice.

"My Choice, My Voice" by Soumbul Qureshi, a graphic designer and illustrator based in Kent.

Artwork: Courtesy of Soumbul Qureshi.

"Fresh Imports" by Stephanie Handley, a recent illustration graduate from the University of Brighton.

Read These Next:

100 Years After Women Won The Vote, This Is What It Means To Them
The Problem With The Suffragettes
Sadiq Khan Tells R29 How He Plans To Celebrate Women In 2018

Artwork: Courtesy of Stephanie Handley.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

What I Learned About The Jonestown Cult By Spending Time With Survivors

Muslim Women Are Finally Talking Frankly About Sex & It's Long Overdue

Why Do Women Fall For Con Men?

This 2000s Trend Is Dominating Pinterest Right Now — & Here's Why

0
0

While shopping earlier this month, I experienced the best kind of fashion déjà vu moment: I glanced around my favourite fast-fashion store and realised that everything I once begged my mother to buy me in school is back in style and even better than before — and now I control the credit card. Camo pants, furry leopard everything, and Clueless -era plaid feel strangely fresh... and it's left me scratching my new Zara cap while fondly remembering my nearly-identical Wet Seal version from way back when.

Everything old is new again, but it's not just fashion that's pulling a rewind. The scrunchies, hair ribbons, and headbands we all wore back in the day are trending, too — especially the latter. Pinterest reports that the search term "headbands" is up 38% year over year, "silk headbands" has grown a whopping 122%, and "velvet headbands" is up a massive 364%. Clearly, it's time to get on board — and we'll be in good company.

Ahead, take inspiration from Tom Ford, Lupita Nyong'o, and major street-style stars on how to make the trend modern, not middle school.

Caroline Daur showed us that there's more to athleisure than just track pants when she sported a Miu Miu headband at Paris Fashion Week.

Photo: Mireya Acierto/Getty Images.

There's a lot to love about this street-style look from London last month — but the thin headband is our favourite.

Photo: Edward Berthelot/Getty Images.

The reigning queen of the red carpet, Lupita Nyong'o, sported this simple crown headband last month in London.

Photo: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images.

Chloë Grace Moretz went full Brigitte Bardot at Sundance in January — and we're so here for it.

Photo: C Flanigan/FilmMagic.

What's stylish, coordinated, and printed all over? This rad throwback take on Chelsea Leyland during London Fashion Week.

Photo: Christian Vierig/Getty Images.

Leave it to Tom Ford to take the '90s supermodel headband and make it feel just as fresh as it once was. Here, Joan Smalls rocks the look during the F/W 2018 show last month.

Photo: JP Yim/Getty Images.

Black can be preppy, too, as we saw at Agnes B's fall show in Paris last week.

Photo: Kristy Sparow/Getty Images.

Let's take a moment to appreciate just how practical this look is: Look, ma, no shampoo!

Photo: Mireya Acierto/Getty Images.

Christian Siriano sent models down his Fall/Winter 2018 runway wearing gorgeous headbands and silk headpieces.

Photo: Victor VIRGILE/Gamma-Rapho/Getty Images.

Word to the wise: It's time to raid your mom's collection of plush headbands. Thanks for the tip, Pixie Lott.

Photo: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images.

Dolce & Gabbana's Fall/Winter 2018 show has us singing along in our heads... Like a 9os baby, accessorized for the very first time.

Photo: Venturelli/Getty Images.

Up-and-comer Anya Taylor-Joy wears the crown she deserves after making a splash in her breakout film, Thoroughbreds.

Photo: Mike Marsland/Mike Marsland/WireImage.

Aurora James ' rosette headband from Jennifer Behr is everything we want for spring.

Like this post? There's more. Get tons of beauty tips, tutorials, and news on the Refinery29 Beauty Facebook page. Like us on Facebook — we'll see you there!

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

3 Breakout Hair-Colour Trends You're About To See Everywhere This Spring

13 Styles You Need To Learn If You're Transitioning To Natural Hair

Hair-Removal Products That Actually Work

How I Learned To Relax & Embrace My Impulsive Side

0
0

I decided to have a baby because I was bored of hangovers. It never occurred to me to drink a little less, stay in every other Friday night and book in the occasional Saturday morning yoga class. Instead I woke up one afternoon, my mouth full of acrid hangover and immediately concluded that a baby was the answer. Two Nurofen, a Coca-Cola and a box of ovulation sticks seemed the perfect antidote to another 4am finish.

I pressed life’s eject button and landed as a mum with a very different reason to be awake at 4am. Making drastic decisions on a whim and actioning them in a week became a bit of a habit. It seemed so much easier to choose an extreme exit from partying than it did to exercise some discipline and just go out a little less. Crashing into the next situation was much more appealing than having to work through anything boring, difficult or tedious.

If I have a big decision to make, it can almost feel too big to cope with, so I solve it with a close-my-eyes-and-run approach. I quit a 12-year career after giving it the overnight test, we moved into the first flat we saw, we put our kid into the one and only childminder we’d met (I still regret that choice).

London hasn’t been working for me lately, for all the usual complaints: it’s too expensive, too status-led, too cold. My solution was Bali. Obviously! We went as a family to try and live there for two months and for lots of reasons found that moving with a child to a different continent probably isn’t the answer to hating London. But why did I impulsively leap to an extreme solution, 18 hours' flight away? A weekend in Rye might have fixed it.

Impulsive behaviour can be described as ‘low-effort, feeling-based behaviour’. It’s basically easy to be impulsive; it allows you to bypass rigour, self-control and discipline. "Some people just operate on a more emotional, instinctive level than a cerebral one," says Sue Firth, a behavioural psychologist. "It might seem like you make rash decisions, but people can be processing things in the background, then when they arrive at a solution it feels sudden."

This really resonated with me; I find it hard to think logically about a problem, like when you try to do mathematics that’s beyond you. So instead of working through anything strategically, I hold the thought somewhere in my gut. And I let it percolate.

It might sound oxymoronic but I truly find comfort in chaos. I enjoy being thrown into a situation and then just having to deal with it. I get less stressed by the idea of a one-way plane ticket than an organised trip. "It’s not cool jumping from one thing to another, you know?" my boyfriend informs me. "It’s annoying." He’s right. I don’t say any of this to sound provocative or fun or cool. And I’m starting to see how annoying it is to be with someone who doesn’t think anything through logically.

"Sometimes all you need to know is what you don’t want, you don’t have to have all the answers," says Sue. This is the complete opposite of the advice I would normally expect to hear from an expert, but it makes total sense. Understanding the things you want to change can be enough.

Sue explains a process she thinks could be helpful for anyone with a poor attention span, the kind of person you might call ‘flighty’ or ‘impulsive’. She calls it Freedom of Thought. "Allow yourself to think of all the ‘what ifs’ and just play with them, play with the stupid thoughts, the brave ones, the unspeakable ones." I guess Sue is basically saying to daydream. "If you have a low boredom threshold it helps to know you’re not trapped before any resentment builds to combustion level."

Tania Keeling, a life coach who works with people to create a balanced, happy life tells me: "The most important thing for anyone to ask themselves is ‘What do you really feel in your heart?’" Even Malcolm Gladwell championed ‘The power of not thinking’ in his lauded book Blink, looking at the benefits of following our instinct rather than doing the kind of process thinking and analysis people are expected to do when presented with a big decision.

My impulsive moments have led to my son, my flat, being a freelance writer and two months in Bali, where I realised I didn't want to live but I did learn to surf. So here, in this not-thinking think-piece, I’m realising that the impulsive among us are probably always going to work on a gut level; it’s almost hardwired into us and hey, it gets us out of doing tedious pros and cons lists. But maybe sometimes I should trust my instinct to not follow my instinct.

Read these next:
This Is The Most Sensible Advice We've Heard So Far This Year
How To Stop Feeling Like Sh*t, From Someone Who Knows
Ready For A Reboot? These Straight-Talking Women Have Some Advice

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

This Is The Secret To Being A Successful Working Mum

The Best Brunch Spots To Try In Every Part Of London

Money Diary: A 23-Year-Old On 38k Working In Finance

What On Earth Is 'Gen Z Yellow' & How Are We Meant To Wear It?

0
0

Just when you thought the trend for defining an age group by a colour was dying a death, along comes 'Gen Z yellow', this season’s answer to millennial pink and the shade spotted on our favourite sartorial stars on the streets of fashion month. As its name indicates, love for the Easter-appropriate colour didn’t spring from the influencers and editors attending AW18 but rather from Gen Z (the group born between the mid ’90s and early ‘00s, according to Forbes).

Photo: Via Youtube

Writer Haley Nahman coined the term last year when she spotted some changes to her usually bubblegum pink-hued Instagram feed. Suddenly, among the carnation notepads, rose vases and cherry blossom Glossier products, there appeared a sunnier, less saccharine shade: yellow. We’d argue that the trend started (as so many do) with Beyoncé. The ruffled marigold Roberto Cavalli dress she wore, complete with swinging baseball bat, in the video for Lemonade ’s “Hold Up” spawned a thousand wedding-guest imitations, but perhaps only now are we seeing the full impact of Bey’s wardrobe choice.

In the same way millennial pink was first used to reclaim femininity during a new wave of feminism being explored by a switched-on, smart generation of young women, yellow represents the optimistic outlook of the game-changing teens of Gen Z. "Yellow is the colour that best represents hope, optimism and joy. It's the universal symbol of sunshine and warmth," Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute, tells Refinery29. "All of these characteristics make it a symbolic representation of what Gen Z are looking for – a renewed hope for the future and the energy to engage in a purposeful way."

A post shared by JOY MIESSI (@yellowbymiessi) on

Gen Z yellow has arrived with less posturing than millennial pink; it’s not (yet) painted on the walls of every new café in London but has slowly infiltrated music videos, Instagram accounts, and interiors trends. Kylie Jenner’s sunglasses collaboration with Australian brand Quay featured some tinted yellow specs, London-based artist Joy Miessi created an account last year to collate snaps of banana and egg yolk-toned spaces she’s spotted around the city, and one scroll through photographer Petra Collins’ feed demonstrates how every shade in the yellow spectrum is worming its way into our creative subconscious.

So how would one describe Gen Z yellow? We're fans of Pantone's Meadowlark but the beauty of the trend is that no one shade appears to dominate. Sorbet lemons, zingy turmerics and rich butters are all in play this season, which could explain its appeal. Yellow has been offered up by designers season after season but has never actually made it (as a full-blown trend, at least) into stores, thanks to its limited wearability frightening buyers and consumers alike. Since appearing here, there and everywhere over the past six months, however, a multitude of shades have in fact proven totally flattering, and the perfect antidote to that ubiquitous pink.

A glimpse at the collections of SS18 will provide all the inspiration you need this season. Rodarte sent frothy sherbet dresses down a catwalk strewn with flowers, Stella McCartney's asymmetric loose-fitting mustard boiler suit (paired with practical strappy sandals) answered our spring workwear prayers, while Kenzo explored more acid-hued yellows in feathered dresses layered over pinstriped tights.

Photo: Getty Images

With ice-cream shades dominating our wardrobe's colour palette this season, there's plenty to remix Gen Z yellow with, making it less intimidating if you're worried about looking more Big Bird than Beyoncé. Yellow is beautiful against lilac or a soft aqua, as shown on Emili Sindlev at Paris Fashion Week, while a printed dress, preferably floral (yes, we know: groundbreaking) and combining yellow and poppy red, gives your staple spring dress a contemporary twist. Bringing several shades within the colour together – a honey-hued belt bag over a bumblebee coat, for example – keeps things interesting and, as with most colours, it pops when paired with black or white.

Photo: Getty Images

Sure, naming a colour after an entire generation is fairly nauseating, and can make us bored of the shade quicker than a simple 'trend' tone, but there's no doubt we could all do with more optimism in our lives. Gen Z yellow might be just the injection of cheer we need.

Want more like this?
The Triumphant Return Of The Leopard-Print Coat
Refinery29's Spring Style Wish List
Why You Need A Football Scarf (Even If You Hate Football)

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

8 Trends To Copy From The Catwalks At London Fashion Week

How To Wear Spring's Biggest Trends Using Clothes You Already Own

If You Love A Statement Print, This Fresh Trend Is For You

What I Learned Having My Makeup Done In A 'Smart Mirror'

0
0

Tom Ford certainly doesn’t do things by halves. His first womenswear show in six years, back in 2010, featured Beyoncé, Julianne Moore and Lauren Hutton as models. He styled a naked Sophie Dahl for YSL's now infamous campaign for Opium. His directorial feature film debut, A Single Man, opened to international critical acclaim. So when you’re invited to have a makeover at his new Covent Garden beauty outpost, you know you’re not about to sit under some harsh strip lights and have contour daubed on while Radio 1 plays tinnily in the background.

In fact, you’re led beneath the main shop floor to an impossibly plush lounge, bedecked with velvet furnishings and oversized bottles of his iconic fragrances. The only sound is his soft bass profundo intoning over the speakers, discussing his inspirations. Kind of like a fashion Mufasa appearing in the sky to talk to Simba. There’s a fully functioning men’s barber chair at one end for wet shave appointments, and a dedicated fragrance lounge in the middle, but where the magic really happens is in the makeup lounge. The mirrors, unassuming as they look, are fitted with something called Memomi technology, meaning they can record your entire makeover as you go, then email you a perfectly edited video for you to dissect at home.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had their makeup professionally done, been amazed with the bold colours chosen and the benefit of a fresh pair of eyes, vowed to try it at home – and drawn a blank when it’s time to get ready to go out. Fear of getting it wrong, not remembering what products were used or indeed how they were used, often turns us back to our tried and tested routines, with little room for experimentation. Memomi and Tom Ford are hoping to put an end to all that by giving you a bespoke beauty vlog, with you in the starring role, tailored to your every need.

Finally in the hot seat, my artist runs me through the process. Would I prefer the filming starts once I have foundation on? "Some ladies prefer not to go bare-faced, even for themselves," she explains. However, I’ve been familiar with my makeup-free face for 24 years, so give her the go ahead to start right away. The mirror, when in filming mode, has a couple of touchscreen buttons that remind me of an iPad, which my artist taps to stop and start the recording to ask me if I think the shade of the foundation is right, or if I want more concealer. It also splits the film into parts – base, contour, eyes, lips and blush – and gives the artist the power to edit out sections if you change your mind about a particular hue.

I look into the camera as we apply an essence, primer, eye cream, foundation and concealer, then my artist pauses the recording and heads to a different page with a list of products, selects everything she’s used (which will form a regime, also to be emailed), before we move on to eyes. I’m nervous about the vivid orange of the ‘Infrared’ shadow she wants to use, but she assuages any doubt by applying it sparingly to the centre of my lids. I was ready to politely tolerate it but actually, I really like it. Same goes for eyeliner – I usually prefer a dark brown pencil but she persuades me to try black and she’s right; it doesn’t look too harsh.

Emboldened, I let her go to town with the contour and blush: two areas where I usually keep it very soft. But again, I’m pleasantly surprised – the elegant textures melt beautifully onto my skin without any muddiness.

Watching the video back at home is funny. There’s no music, for one. I’m not saying it would add much value, I’m just used to some jaunty ukulele in the background of beauty videos. Also, most of it is just my own face peering up at me. Once I get over how strange it is to essentially watch surveillance footage of yourself (is this how it feels to be a Kardashian?), I pick up on a few things. I usually swear by a Beautyblender-and-fingers combo for my base, but the brush she’s using leaves a wonderfully natural finish. I carefully study the placement and blending of that pop of colour, and bravely dip my brush into the untouched brights of my palette. She’s right; orange somehow works brilliantly on my eyes – which I never would have guessed – and black is a better evening option for me. I’ve also long been curious to try Tom Ford's bestselling Shade & Illuminate Contour Duo, but been thrown by the creamy texture. Now I can see exactly how much to apply and how deftly to buff it for maximum impact.

I’m pretty confident with makeup, but the service would be great for anyone looking to brush up on their skills, too. Whatever you want to master, whether it’s a no-makeup-makeup look, a daytime smoky eye or just a general overhaul, this allows you to have a professional in your pocket, ready to show you the ropes whenever you want to watch. It’s the next best thing to your own glam squad.

Appointments from £50, redeemable against purchases. Call 0370 192 5902 for bookings.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Clear Mascara Is The Essential Your Makeup Kit Is Missing

This Clever In-Shower Trick Will Revive Dry, Frizzy Hair

20 Reasons You Should Stan Ariana Grande's Ever-Evolving Ponytail

Get Back To Nature With These Beautiful Open-Air Spa Breaks

0
0

If you feel like you're in need of a little self-care this spring, you're not alone. Taking a break from normal life to relax and indulge can have benefits for your physical and mental health. But if the thought of reclining in a spa with a towel wrapped around your head and cucumber slices over your eyes seems a little stale, what can you do instead?

All over the country, spas are regenerating and renewing. Today, it's about going back to basics. Gone are the days of rushing through your two-hour slot and avoiding eye contact with that overly comfortable old man in the sauna. Instead, head to the great outdoors where you can soak away your stress in your own private hot tub under the stars, or swap the stuffiness of a steam room for fresh woodland air.

Click through for our pick of the UK's natural spas.

Chiltern Yurt Retreat

Just a 45-minute train ride from London and a short walk from Wendover's bustling high street (and a couple of truly excellent pubs), this retreat is nevertheless secluded enough that the only sounds are birdsong and a nearby babbling brook. You can choose from three kinds of accommodation, including a reclaimed wooden tabernacle complete with double bathtub.

Alternatively, plump for a light-filled cabin with stream-side terrace or spend your break in a traditional yurt with its own kitchen and bathroom (in case you don't want to get too close to nature). Whichever you go for, you'll have your own wood-fired hot tub as well as a choice of traditional and alternative therapies. Book yourself in for a treatment or simply kick back beside the fire pit, stare up at the stars and indulge in a little forest bathing.

Chiltern Yurt Retreat Buckinghamshire, from £62.50 per person, per night. Treatments available: aromatherapy, remedial massage, reiki and reflexology.

North Star Club

Set among Yorkshire's rolling dales, North Star Club is the ideal place to get away from it all while remaining in the lap of luxury. You'll find each American rustic-inspired suite complete with a four-poster bed and wood-burning stove, surrounded by a large covered veranda and decorated with gorgeous vintage finds. Take your friends and book into a larger cabin so you can enjoy your treatments together before cosying up around the canopied campfire each evening.

Alternatively, if you're really in need of a break, book into the Star Suite with your SO or for some ultra indulgent me-time. Here you can soak away the day in the copper bathtub and warm up in your private infrared sauna. If too much introspection leaves you hankering for company, head to the communal chill-out space to stargaze with your fellow campers.

North Star Club Yorkshire, from £45 per person, per night. Treatments available: manicures, massage and alternative therapies on request.

Brambells

This is camping but not as you know it. Forget struggling to erect a semi-waterproof two-man tent in the drizzle; when you arrive at Brambells you'll be welcomed into a luxurious bell tent with four-poster bed, crisp white sheets and your own wood-burning stove. Choose to wake up to dappled sunlight through your tent walls each morning or bathe in moonlight in one of the aptly named Stargazer tents, which have clear ceilings.

Forget, too, about grim concrete shower blocks; each tent has a bathroom as well as the shared woodland spa. Relax your muscles in the sauna pod, then take a turn beneath the outdoor rainfall shower. You can even book a treatment beneath the trees, using only ethical, natural products free from harsh chemicals and sourced from the UK. Good for the planet; excellent for you.

Brambells Norfolk, from £42 per person, per night. Treatments available: massage, exfoliation and facial.

Crafty Camping

This 'woodland hotel' is an ideal place to get back to nature, but it's far more about self-care than roughing it. The design is so polished it's won architectural awards and between the trees there are hidden luxuries, like the yurt with a secret sauna and showers made from woven willow branches which are available to all guests. You can even dip your feet into the calm waters of the site's fishing pond. There's also a communal pizza oven, because what does you more good than pizza?

Accommodation options range from bell tents to shepherd huts, but for a really fancy break we suggest you explore their treehouse. Perched amid the treetops is a private spa deck, fully furnished sauna and hot tub. Downstairs you'll find a rotating fireplace and an extra large copper tub – accessed from above by a stainless steel slide! Sit back and relax in the knowledge that this treehouse was designed to impact the local ecosystem as little as possible.

Crafty Camping Dorset, from £44 per person, per night. Treatments available: none.

Secret Cloud House

Secret Cloud House's meadowside yurts are good for groups of all sizes. Relax with friends in their larger yurts, which offer three single beds alongside a luxurious double, plus a private dining area. Or if you're looking for something more romantic, book into the yurt with an antique French kingsize bed. All yurts come with a private outdoor wood-fired hot tub.

Head to the communal sauna and take your R&R to the next level. With a menu of essential oils, each visit can be tailored to your mood. Secret Cloud House also offers a fully equipped treatment suite, lit by candlelight and warmed by a roaring fire. You can choose from facials using organic products infused with local beeswax and floral waters, as well as hot stone massages and foot treatments. When you're done, walk through the wildflowers back to your yurt and watch the stars come out from your private terrace.

Secret Cloud House Staffordshire , from £63 per person, per night. Treatments available: massage, foot treatments and facials.

Read These Next:

7 Wellness Festivals To Help You Namaste Your Way Through Summer
8 Magical Woodland Cabins To Escape To This Spring
A Guide To The UK's Cutest Ethical Beauty Salons

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Meghan & Harry’s Trip To Morocco Is All About Empowering Young Girls

Here's What Oscar Nominees Do With All Those Free Travel & Spa Packages

Do You Have A Random Hobby? A Celebrity Obsession? There's A Cruise For That


Virgin Trains' Lazy Avocado PR Stunt Is The Last Thing Young People Need

0
0

The belief that all millennials are obsessed with avocados is one of the most bizarrely persistent myths of our age. By this point, the creamy fruit has become a lazy way for out-of-touch older journalists, commentators and marketers to talk down to young people – because if we're taking time to enjoy the odd brunch outside the comforts of our shoebox flat (and potentially Instagramming it in the process), our concerns aren't worth taking seriously, right?

Last year, our so-called penchant was used to blame us for the recent global, generational shifts in the property market, with the Australian millionaire and luxury property developer Tim Gurner telling us that our spending habits are holding us back from being able to buy our own homes – rather than an ill-fated combination of stagnant wages and spiralling house prices in the big cities in which we'd like to live.

“When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each," he lectured, before the world pointed out that, er, even if we stopped buying avocado toast it would still take many of us centuries to be able to afford a home, as things stand. Young people were, unsurprisingly, bloodthirsty in their retorts.

And then there was the cringeworthy gaffe from Time magazine, which insisted that "hold my avocado" was a real phrase that human millennials were actually using. The response to the article online was scathing, with young people mocking and criticising the publication for making light of the difficult economic hand they've been dealt.

Given the intensity of these worldwide avocado-based blunders – and how recent they were – the latest PR stunt from Virgin Trains is amazingly bad. In light of the high demand for the 26-30 Millennial Railcard which went on sale yesterday, the train company is offering millennials a third off their rail fares if they "present an avocado" at the station when buying their ticket. "And after buying their tickets...[the fruit] can be enjoyed as a healthy snack!" the company quipped.

"Did you miss out on the chance to get your hands on the 26-30 railcard? Fear not!" reads a statement on its website. "After such high demand, we wanted to make sure that the 'Millennial Railcard' was available to anyone who wanted it. Introducing the #avocard, our very own temporary railcard."

Yes, really, the #avocard

Yes, really, the #avocard. And to top off the oh-so-millennial avocado reference and hashtag, they've garnished their announcement tweet with an avocado emoji. So trendy, modern and original.

The idea may have been well intentioned and any discount these days is to be welcomed, but not only is referencing avocados when talking to young people condescending, irrelevant and lazy, the discount barely puts a dent in the cost of a train ticket. Like the millennial railcard, between 4.30am-10am Monday to Friday it can only be used on fares costing at least £12, and doesn't include advance fares.

So when you consider the astronomical costs of UK rail travel – £338 for an anytime standard return trip from London to Manchester, anyone? – and the recent January price hike and public protests over shabby service, the gesture looks like nothing more than a PR stunt designed to piss off cash-strapped young people. What's more, the discount only lasts a week, until midnight on 20th March.

Virgin Trains is known among passengers for its faux cutesy, patronising way of speaking to customers – toilet signs in its carriages famously advise against flushing "old phones, unpaid bills, junk mail, your ex's sweater, hopes, dreams or goldfish" down the loo – and if its future marketing continues in this vein, it's only a matter of time before we can expect a #Snowflake campaign offering us safe spaces in which to get offended about the news and social issues.

Read These Next:

You Don't Need To Tell Me That A 26-Year-Old Can't Afford To Buy A House
Millionaire Tells Millennials: "Stop Buying Avocado Toast If You Want To Afford A House"
6 Luxuries Millennials Should Give Up In Order To Afford A Home (According To An Estate Agent)

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Flushable Wet Wipes Are Finally Here & This Is Where You Can Get Them

What Exactly Is The Independent Group & Can It Stop Brexit?

Breaking Down The Controversy Of The London Schoolgirl Who Joined Isis

Uniqlo’s Next Designer Drop Has Us Dreaming Of Summer

0
0

Uniqlo sure knows how to deliver a designer collaboration we can get behind. From 2009's collection with Jil Sander (which went on for five seasons) to J.W.Anderson's recent sellout rainbow-bright knits and tartan bags, Uniqlo's choice of creatives always results in a crashed website and highly sought-after pieces.

Today, the high street hero announced the drop date and more details of its next collaboration, with Bottega Veneta's creative director, Tomas Maier. Launching online and in-store from 17th May, the line is Uniqlo's first 'resort wear' venture.

A statement from the brand read: "This collaboration fuses Tomas Maier’s 'time off' and 'escape' philosophy with Uniqlo’s commitment to create high-quality clothing that is universal in design, comfort and made for everyone, everywhere. The collection helps people get away from it all, whether relaxing at a resort or winding down after a busy day at work."

Featuring pops of colour by way of lilac tees and bikinis, tangerine knits and loose shirts, and botanic-printed dresses, the collab has us looking forward to longer days, sundowners and sea swims. The sun-kissed hues are inspired by Maier's Florida roots – something he's known for with his own eponymous brand, which has the Floridian palm tree as its symbol.

Prices range from £19.90 for swimwear to £89.90 for knitwear, but the real hook is the quality of the collection, often overlooked when designers take to the high street.

“Our new collection is designed to work in many different ways. Beach attire can turn into lounge wear, casual cover-ups paired with polo shirts can easily be worn in town – this is the concept of my brand," Maier said of the line. "Things work in many ways. Even if bought for a special trip or occasion the customer will soon discover these garments adapt to a year-round life.”

Time to book a beach break, stat. Click through to see our favourite pieces from Tomas Maier x Uniqlo Resort Wear.

100% Soft Cotton Gathered 3/4 Sleeve Blouse, £29.90

Swim One-Piece, £29.90

Flight Jacket, £59.90

Extra Fine Cotton Stand Collar Long Sleeve Shirt, £39.90

Chino Skirt, £29.90

Chiffon Printed Long Sleeve Dress, £39.90

Swim Triangle Bra, £19.90; Swim Shorts, £12.90

Belt, £29.90

100% Cotton Long Cardigan, £39.90

Chiffon Printed Long Sleeve Dress, £39.90

Women Swim Bra, £19.90; Swim Shorts (Hiphugger), £12.90

AIRism Pile Lounge Short Sleeve T-Shirt, £19.90

Cashmere Crew Neck Sweater, £89.90

100% Soft Cotton Long Sleeve Shirt, £29.90

Tomas Maier and Uniqlo Resort Wear Collection launches from 17th May

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Hood By Air Is Coming Back From Its Hiatus

Enter: JoAni Johnson, The 67-Year-Old Model Defying Every Fashion Stereotype

Mulberry Just Reminded Everyone Why Us Brits Are Known For Our Style

15 Inspirational Stephen Hawking Quotes To Read Today

0
0
Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

Update: March 14, 2018 at 9:15 a.m.

Wednesday morning, news broke that Stephen Hawking passed away at his home in Cambridge. He was 76. A brilliant mind and force, Hawking was famously pithy. As we celebrate his achievements, let us reflect on his most affecting quotes.

Original story follows.

Stephen Hawking was a true inspiration to millions not only for his many achievements, but also for his determination. Hawking was diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), a rare form of motor neurone disease, at the age of 21 with doctors initially only giving him a few years to live. However, he thwarted all expectations and went on to make major breakthroughs in the study of phenomena such as black holes and cosmic inflations. His bestselling account of the origins of the universe, A Brief History of Time went on to become a contemporary classic.

Stephen Hawking's life was one of triumph, even being celebrated in the film, The Theory of Everything, starring Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones.

Hawking was a remarkable man and his influence on modern science is undeniable. He was brilliant. He exceeded all expectations with regard to his life expectancy and quality of life. Ahead, in honour of his life, 15 of his most inspirational quotes.

Listening to a sound clip of this quote is even more powerful than reading it.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

In a 2005 interview with The Guardian, Hawking responded to a question about whether he gets "surges of rage" about his disability. "It is a waste of time to be angry about my disability," he told the paper. "One has to get on with life and I haven't done badly."

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

When Diane Sawyer spoke with Hawking in 2010, he shared this perspective on love. He said it's one of the most important things he's taught his children.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

He also told Sawyer he's instilled a solid work ethic in his children.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

When a reporter for The New York Times interviewed Hawking in 2004, she remarked at how cheerful he seemed. He responded with this bit of wisdom.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

In that same interview, this is how Hawking responded when the reporter asked him his I.Q. "I have no idea," he said.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

Hawking shared this advice in a speech to Cambridge University graduates in 2012. "It matters that you don't just give up," he added.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

He added this to his speech to the Cambridge grads.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

In a 2011 interview with The Guardian, Hawking addressed how he feels about his own mortality. "I have lived with the prospect of an early death for the last 49 years," he said. "I'm not afraid of death, but I'm in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first."

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

Hawking shared this sentiment when he opened the Paralympic Games in 2012. "We are all different," he said. "What is important is that we have the ability to create."

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

In this quote from his book The Grand Design, Hawking is likely speaking to the ideas of space and time. But, it also works when you apply it to your personal life.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

Something to think about on those days when you're feeling lacklustre.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

Hawking advised this in a 2005 interview with The Guardian. "What I do is keep thinking about the problem, but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years."

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

"If they could then there'd be nothing to stop the whole universe from descending into chaos," he wrote in the Daily Mail.

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

“My daughter, Lucy, knew one of the scriptwriters for The Simpsons. He said he would like to write an episode involving me," Hawking explained of his guest starring on the animated show. "I accepted immediately because it would be fun, and because The Simpsons is the best thing on American television.”

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Lady Gaga Put An End To Rumours She & Bradley Cooper Are In Love

The Producers Of Get Out Are Making A Horror Version Of Dating Around

The Best Netflix Movies Based On True Stories

This Is Why You Listen To The Same Sad Song On Repeat

0
0

Do you ever listen to the same song over and over again without getting bored? If not, you've probably had a builder with a penchant for Ed Sheeran or a flatmate with an annoying Foo Fighters habit. It's extremely common – and easy – to listen to the same song on loop. But it's rare to stop and think why you're doing it.

In a new study, published in the journal Psychology of Music, researchers explored the phenomenon of "extreme re-listening" and their findings may shed some light on your own unexpected addiction to Taylor Swift's latest release (us too).

Researchers from the University of Michigan quizzed 204 men and women, in their 30s or younger, about the tunes they were “listening to most often these days”, their connection to the song, what aspects of the song had them hooked and how the music made them feel, reported BPS Research Digest.

Participants cited a wide range of songs as their favourites within a wide range of genres: mostly pop and rock, but also rap, country, jazz and reggae. Nearly two thirds (60%) claimed to enjoy re-listening to their chosen song almost immediately, with some even claiming to listen three or four times in a row.

When it came to the psychological stuff – the feelings their songs evoked – the music tended to fall in one of three categories. More than two thirds of the songs had a happy, energetic vibe (making listeners feel “Pumped up! Excited! Ready to dance, sing, and love!”); others were calm and relaxed (with participants saying "It makes me feel at ease, calm, and helps me to put things into perspective”); and the remainder were bittersweet (“It makes me feel sad. But not the bad kind of sad, and I like singing with it”).

The most interesting finding to emerge? The bittersweet songs were the most listened to – with an average of 790 listens, compared to 515 for calm songs and 175 for happy songs. Bittersweet melodies were also the most likely to evoke the deepest connections and to enable listeners to build a “mental model” of the song, namely, the listeners were more likely to be able to replay the song in their head.

Based on personal experience, this sounds about right. Play me Rihanna and Drake's "Whats My Name?" and I can virtually taste the apple VK and feel the sticky nightclub floors that were a key feature of my first term of university. Now, when I feel low I often listen to the song on a loop to remind me of those simpler, teenage times. Bittersweet indeed.

Music, with all its attached emotions and memories, helps us to relive moments in our lives that we don't want to forget, and our most-played lists can provide a fascinating insight into our own psychologies. Why not scour through your own Spotify or iTunes in the name of self knowledge?

Read These Next:

This Uber Driver's Sarcastic Spotify Playlists Will Make Your Day
The Best UK Festivals Happening In 2018
Why You Might Want To Talk About Music On Your Next First Date

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Flushable Wet Wipes Are Finally Here & This Is Where You Can Get Them

What Exactly Is The Independent Group & Can It Stop Brexit?

Breaking Down The Controversy Of The London Schoolgirl Who Joined Isis

I'm A Successful Creative Director — & This Was My First Failure

0
0
Your Failures Determine Your Future

“Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always” — Rainer Maria Rilke

Shannon Washington has it all: The career, the life, everything. She's a successful creative director who has worked with several of your favourite beauty brands. She also made time to co-found Feminist Enough, a storytelling project which gives a fresh voice to women of colour and modern feminist ideals, powered by video and social media. On LinkedIn her career seems perfect, but just like with all social media, it only tells a small part of the story.

In this episode of The Failure Project, Washington shares the rest of the story, not just the highlights. She talks about what her journey was really like.

Washington walks us through what it was like to be a first-generation college student who finds out part way through her degree that pre-med isn’t going to work out; what it was like to lose her scholarships and convince her mum that getting a creative degree would all work out; what it was like to get fired from her first job. With time and perspective, Washington has come to realise that it was those very failures that have made her who she is. It opened the doors for the life she has now.

So what's Washington’s advice when you are in that moment feeling like a failure? “Throw on some mascara and Cardi B, and figure that shit out.” Watch the video above for more of her advice.

The Failure Project: Life isn't glossy; it isn't Insta-perfect. But at any given moment there are a million reasons not to feel like you are good enough, from being late to your hair appointment to your weight to your work to school to your personal life — and everything in-between. It becomes all too easy to look at the shiny perfections that social media offers us and take it as the real story. But it's not the whole story. We gathered some inspirational and aspirational people together to tell us the things that don't make it to social media. The moments they failed, the times it didn't work out, what they've learned along the way. Our goal? To start a conversation about failure, and celebrate the other side of the journey.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

This Is The Secret To Being A Successful Working Mum

Money Diary: A 23-Year-Old On 38k Working In Finance

How This Simple Email Trick Has Helped Me Get Better At Saying No

6 Magical Herbs You Need To Kick Off Spring

0
0

The days are getting longer and the spring fever is starting to set in (we promise). But before you fully embrace the frenetic energy that kicks in around the vernal equinox, you probably ought to tackle at least little spring cleaning. Whether you choose to focus your deep cleanse on your wardrobe or personal life, there's a plant with healing, spiritual properties that can fuel your efforts.

While it never hurts to have a sprig of rosemary or a few honeysuckle blossoms in your house, it's especially important to keep plants that are associated with protection, love, and purity handy in the springtime. They'll imbue your living space with a sense of security and the promise of a fresh start. And, if you ask us, those are the exact vibes we're trying to feel as we thaw out after winter.

Ahead, we've rounded up some of the best plants and herbs to keep in your home and garden to celebrate the vernal equinox. Read on to learn more about their spiritual properties and what makes them perfect for the springtime.

Basil

Promotes: purity, healing, peace

Why it's great for spring: It's believed that keeping basil in your home can cultivate prosperity and have protective effects — what more could you want while tackling your spring cleaning? Plus, this ubiquitous herb is thought to strengthen and reinforce romantic bonds, so even if its scent reminds you more of pizza than romance, you might benefit from diffusing basil essential oil in the bedroom.

Rosemary

Promotes: positivity, deep sleep, love

Why it's great for spring: Psychologically speaking, spring fever is real. If you're feeling a little twitterpated and would rather have your feet firmly planted on the ground, try diffusing some rosemary essential oils or hanging a dried sprig of it in your window. Commonly known as a kitchen herb, rosemary can enhance feelings of love, security, and mental clarity. That influence will help you feel steadier and more stable in the face of any seasonal restlessness.

Dandelion

Promotes: spirituality, adaptability, strength

Why it's great for spring: Nowadays, you probably think of this plant as little more than a weed, but you can actually learn a lesson in survival from the hardy dandelion. As herbalist Candace Hunter writes, dandelions represent tenacity despite unforeseen challenges due to their ability to grow just about anywhere. As these dainty little flowers start to pop up in your yard, you'll remember to stay strong no matter what this season brings.

Cedar

Promotes: wealth, protection, renewal

Why it's great for spring: Your mind might leap to sage or Palo Santo when you think of cleansing your home, but cedar is just as good, especially if you want to rebalance the energy in your home after a springtime clean-out. Burn a sprig of cedar and let the smoke permeate the rooms where you cleared out the most stuff — your closet, cabinets, and junk drawer leap to mind. Doing so will free the space of any negative associations with the items you threw out.

Honeysuckle

Promotes: desire, luck, truth

Why it's great for spring: Love is bound to be in the air as temps start to rise, and nothing heightens feelings of love (or ups your flirting game) like honeysuckle. The sweet scent of this flower is believed to put people in a generous, sharing mood and can coax couples to get even closer. Sometimes you just have to lean into that spring fever feeling.

Nettle

Promotes: privacy, defense, bravery

Why it's great for spring: Spring cleaning is all about deciding what you don't want to keep in your life, but the sneaky follow-up step is to make sure that any harmful presence (be it a relationship or shade of nail polish) stays out. With their notorious sting, nettles are just the plant to keep around if you're trying to guard yourself against negativity. Keep some nettle leaves (or whole plants) by the entrance to your home to ensure only positive influences cross the threshold.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Zoe Church: Hollywood's Latest Religious Obsession

How Ancient Egyptian Mummification Really Worked

A Beginner's Guide To Reading Palms

The Big Problem With Vogue's Kendall Jenner Interview

0
0

There's a big problem with Vogue 's recent Kendall Jenner interview. Actually, there are a couple of problems.

The first is that the interviewer asked Jenner about rumours that she's gay. No one should have to answer questions about their sexuality (even celebrities who get asked invasive questions all the time). If someone is gay, it's up to them to choose when and how to tell someone (or the whole world, in Jenner's case). But the biggest problem here isn't the question — it's how the story sets up the big reveal.

"Kendall Jenner — a tomboy who collects vintage cars, prefers sneaks and jeans and a hoodie, and rolls with a squad of mostly guys — is not gay," it reads.

A woman who likes to dress comfortably, thinks cars are cool, and hangs out with men is straight? Whaaaat?

Oh, wait, this actually isn't shocking at all. Straight women have all kinds of interests and can dress however they want. What's also not shocking, but definitely disappointing, is the framing of this information. It rolls a whole bunch of gay stereotypes into one sentence and, in doing so, bolsters the widely-held misconception that all gay women look and act alike.

Assuming that "masculine" traits, like feeling at home in a hoodie and a pair of sneakers, can indicate someone's sexuality erases feminine queer women like me. We call it "femme invisibility," and it's an issue that we deal with all the time. When the assumption is that all queer women dress, talk, walk, or act masculine, our identity gets erased.

As queer writer Ivan Coyote wrote in their poem, “To All of the Kick-Ass, Beautiful, Fierce Femmes Out There": "Sometimes, you are invisible. I have no idea what this must feel like, to pass right by your people and not be recognised, to not be seen."

It feels isolating. When we were newly out in college, I and other femmes I knew would do whatever it took to make ourselves seen. We'd line our backpacks with so many rainbow pins that they were basically metal and wear shirts with slogans like "Legalise Gay" or "Vagatarian." Some decided to get a "lesbian haircut" and then later regretted it. But even when we made every indication that we're gay, some people still wouldn't believe us.

Take Lauren, for example. She was the badass, high-femme, lesbian director of programming at my college's LGBTQ+ resource centre. When a straight man from the campus newspaper came in to interview her one day, he took one look at her fierce, pointy heels and fully-made face and said, "You're too pretty to be gay."

That's not an uncommon experience. When Lauren told us that story during an LGBTQ+ discussion group one night, two other women piped up to say that the same thing happened to them at frat parties and even in the local gay club. Both straight and gay people still have a hard time believing that feminine women can be gay. Queer femmes have actually been told that they don't belong in queer spaces because they don't "look" gay. And that makes femmes feel both invisible and ostracised.

So, maybe Kendall Jenner isn't gay, but I am. I know nothing about cars, my closet is full of dresses, and the only straight man I regularly talk to is my girlfriend's roommate (because, you know, I don't want to be rude). I'm not the kind of person who comes to mind when most people hear the word "lesbian." Does that mean gay women can't be vintage car-loving, sneaks and jeans-wearing tomboys who hang out with men? Of course not. I'm sure a gay woman who fits that exact description exists somewhere in the world. But we don't all look the same, and juxtaposing Jenner's more "masculine" traits with her sexuality plays into stereotypes that misrepresent the queer community as a whole.

We're a diverse group of people, with butches and femmes and lots of people whose gender presentation falls somewhere in the middle, and we all deserve to be seen.

Read these stories next:

Please Stop Calling Sam Smith "Gender Non-Binary"

Kendall Jenner Clarifies That She Is Not Gay

FYI: Dating Can Be Terrible When You're A Lesbian, Too

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

What We Know About MS, The Condition Selma Blair Has

"It'll Be Fine, It's Just One Line": What It's Like To Relapse At 26

Things You Should Say To Your Single 30-Something Friend


Miley Cyrus Is Sued For £215 Million Over 7 Words

0
0

When Miley Cyrus released "We Can't Stop" in 2013, it was the birth of the new, adult Miley — one who was edgier, very into twerking, and yet also wore a lot of onesies with teddy bears on them, like a baby might. Plenty of people had opinions on "We Can't Stop" — but this new beef with Cyrus' song is, surprisingly, a legal one. According to Reuters, Cyrus is being sued for stealing lyrics for use in her first adult single.

Per the new report, the accusation comes from reggae singer Michael May, whose stage name is Flourgon. May states that Cyrus and her label RCA Records used seven words from his 1988 song "We Run Things" on "We Can't Stop."

The lyrics in question on "We Can't Stop" are "We run things/Things don't run we." In May's track, the lyrics state: "We run things/Things no run we."

Here is Flourgon's track.

And here "We Can't Stop" by Cyrus.

It is unclear why May chose now to come forward about the song lyrics.

Per Reuters, May was reportedly granted a copyright for all musical arrangements on "We Run Things" at the US Copyright Office in November of 2017. According to Reuters, a representative for May states that Cyrus "owes the basis of its chart-topping popularity to and its highly-lucrative success to plaintiff May’s protected, unique, creative and original content."

Per a press statement from May's lawyer, that adds up to an estimated $300 million (£215 million).

May also wants Cyrus to cease performing the song (yes, May is asking Cyrus to stop) as well as to halt all future sales of the track, Reuters reports.

This is not the first time a popular pop song was accused of ripping off lyrics. Taylor Swift was recently sued by the writers of the 3LW song "Players Gon' Play," for allegedly copying their lyrics for her song "Shake It Off." The lawsuit was ultimately dismissed in January.

Refinery29 has reached out to representatives for Cyrus for comment and will update this post should we hear back.

Read These Next:
Taylor Swift Asks For "Haters Gonna Hate" Lawsuit To Be Dismissed
Miley Cyrus' New Song Is About Liam Hemsworth
The Nun Who Brought A Lawsuit Against Katy Perry Has Died Of A Heart Attack

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Ariana Grande Will Return To Manchester Two Years After Bombing At Her Concert

New Music To Know This Week: Ari Lennox, Rina Mushonga & More

Avril Lavigne Struggles To Keep Her Head Above Water On Latest Album

The 6 Relationship Stages We've All Been Through With Our Bra

0
0

Every woman, from those blessed with XL breasts to those flat as a board, knows how long it takes to build a relationship with your bra. After getting initially acquainted (boobs, meet bra; bra, meet boobs) you have to invest a lot of patience, money and give or take a few existential crises in lingerie dressing rooms before you can fully appreciate your bra.

From going to your first fitting to taking it off in front of someone for the first time, you’ll go through so much together. We’ve all got history with our bras, but even though at times the branger is real, it’ll always be there to support you… literally.

Whether you wear “my eyes are up here” kinda push-ups, delicate lace bralettes, heavy duty sports bras or bras that can potentially save your life, every woman goes through six relationship stages with her bra.

Buying Your First Bra

Much like getting your period and having your first kiss, buying your first bra is a rite of passage every young girl awaits with a mix of fear, excitement and anticipation.

All your mates seem to have developed fully fledged boobs overnight and you’re still failing the pencil test, but nonetheless you convince your mum to take you bra shopping. Reluctantly she takes you to the department store and you marvel at the beauty of the bra section. You’ve already spotted the perfect bra: it’s lilac, lacy and has a little bow between the cups. It’s. So. Pretty.

But of course your mum says you’re far too young to be wearing a bra like that. She insists on buying you the woebegone nude cotton "sensible" one, which she promises you’ll grow into one day… Nothing to show off to your mates the next day in school.

Illustration by Kiki Ljung

Committing Fashion Faux-Pas

There’s a lot of trial and error when it comes to wearing bras, and learning to don them elegantly yet effortlessly is a big part of that. You can always tell a bra novice apart from a seasoned wearer, thanks to these common no-nos:

– Wearing a racerback top and showing visible bra straps.

– Wearing a white top with a white or coloured bra. The key is to match the bra colour to your skin tone; thank us later.

– Wearing a high-neck top with an unnecessary push-up, hiding the cleavage and giving you quadra-boob *lightning and thunder strike, ominous music plays*

– Wearing a glamorous low-cut dress and ruining it with visible bra band, or even worse, using a see-through plastic strap.

We’ve all been there, and as with any relationship you learn from your mistakes. It takes a lot of bractice (sorry, we had to) and even though reminiscing over those bra fashion faux-pas makes you shudder, you’re a better woman for it...

Illustration by Kiki Ljung

Wanting To Give Up

Big or small boobed, chances are you’ve thought about #FreeingTheNipple at least once. Removing your bra after a long day is the breast feeling in the world (are the bra puns getting annoying?) and it’s enough to make you consider going commando for the rest of your life. You’re willing to go through life with Rachel-from- Friends levels of visible nipple because anything is better than a bra digging into your chest for hours on end.

But no amount of boob tape or stick-on cups can truly keep the girls in place. Plus, the under-boob sweat is not pleasant and the minute you wear something low-cut, one of your mates has to be on constant nipple watch.

Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

Illustration by Kiki Ljung

Learning You’ve Been Wearing The Wrong Size Bra This Whole Time

Imagine, you go half your life thinking you’ve finally nailed this whole 'wearing a bra' thing and then some headline comes along and says you’ve been wearing the wrong size this whole time. Excuse me?! In fact, almost 80% of women wear the wrong size bra! No wonder they’re so often associated with discomfort.

Ill-fitting bras don’t discriminate. If you’re small-chested, you get slipping straps, rising back bands, and an awkward space between the cup and actual breast. If you have a fuller chest, you get straps that dig into your shoulders, back clasps barely holding it together, and incessant nip slips because the cups always seem to be too small.

It’s hard to admit that we’ve been unknowingly neglecting, if not outright mistreating, our precious boobs for so long and nestling them in something that causes us so much unnecessary branger.

Illustration by Kiki Ljung

Taking Out A Mortgage Just To Buy A New Bra

Just thinking about having to buy a new bra makes your debit card shiver, but your old faithful has finally bitten the dust. The cups no longer fit, there are holes in the lace, it’s stained from that time you spilled red wine, the straps have lost elasticity and the underwire seems to have been designed to poke and prod you incessantly.

It’s time to buy a new one but bras are unfairly expensive, and although you can buy a cheap one, you know a quality bra is a good investment. Spending money on a good bra is a necessary evil all women know too well. Even OG feminists recognised how expensive bras were, and despite the common urban myth they never really burned their bras.

Illustration by Kiki Ljung

Finally Choosing Comfort Over Cleavage

Maybe celebrities have the time and f*cks to duct-tape their boobs in the name of anti-gravity cleavage, but most women CBA to go through all that trouble.

What sense is there in being uncomfortable, restricted and suffocated just so your boobs look bigger/better/different? Your boobs are great the way they are! They deserve true comfort, like the new Sloggi ZERO FEEL. A bra that feels like you’re not wearing anything but provides all the support you need. A bra that doesn’t require adjusting every half hour. A bra that feels like your breasts are being cupped by clouds while simultaneously feeling like you have nothing on. How does it do that? Magic! Or, you know, technology and innovation.

You’re not a fully fledged adult woman until you’ve reached this point of enlightenment and give yourself the care and comfort you truly deserve. Screw the male gaze, f*ck gravity and welcome to your new, unfastened life with no wires, no clasps, no red marks and no itchy material slowly driving you insane. Bra nirvana!

Illustration by Kiki Ljung

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

A Former Fyre Festival Employee Is Making High-End Rugs Out Of Plastic Waste

This Is The Secret To Being A Successful Working Mum

The Best Brunch Spots To Try In Every Part Of London

How Well Do You Really Know Your Vagina?

0
0

We Brits are known for being a bit prudish and often, our health suffers because of it. According to a survey by Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, around 3,000 women are diagnosed with cervical cancer every year in the UK, and it’s the most common cancer in women aged 35 and under. Smear tests can prevent 75% of these cases, yet a third of the women surveyed said they delayed getting a smear test because of embarrassment. It sounds extreme, but our unease with our vaginas could literally kill us.

And we aren’t the only ones with this problem. Nina Brochmann and Ellen Stokken Dahl have been travelling the world talking about vaginas since writing their book The Wonder Down Under. First published in Norway last year, the ‘user guide to the vagina’ has just been released in the UK, on International Women’s Day.

One of the biggest reasons Ellen and Nina started working in this area as medical students was Norway’s lacklustre sex education. They also joined a national scheme helping sex workers and refugees.

Then in 2015 they started a blog called The Genitals. Originally aimed at poorly educated teenagers, they soon found that their audience was much, much bigger – to date, the pieces on their site have been read 1.4 million times. A host of book deals later, it turns out there was more of an appetite for discussion of this topic – by people who knew their stuff – than they could have ever imagined.

It’s not just their topic that’s unique, it’s their refreshingly non-judgemental approach to all things female. And most importantly: the emphasis they put on women’s desire. “Education is about restricting sex, it’s not pro-sex,” says Ellen. “We need to discuss female desire. We don’t learn enough about that in high school. If you don’t write about female desire then women don’t know the size of their own clitoris.”

In the book, Nina and Ellen don’t shy away from anything, exploring periods, sex, babies, discharge, virginity and female genital mutilation – all with a clinical eye and a practical and engaging approach. You won’t believe half the stuff you learn from reading it – or rather, you won’t believe you didn’t know it already. They even have some incredible revelations about the clitoris, a part of the female anatomy which has been hugely underserved by the male-driven world of science. “People just don’t find it very important. But it’s empowering for women,” says Ellen.

The extent to which Britain's limited sex education is skewed towards not getting pregnant will ring true with anyone who's ever tried for a baby. Only last month doctors from the Fertility Education Initiative told The Times that girls needed to be taught more about how and when to get pregnant. Ellen is noticing the repercussions of this knowledge gap right now, aged 31: "All of my girlfriends are trying to get pregnant. And I can’t tell you how many calls I get asking ‘How do I get pregnant?’" she says incredulously. “We spend all of our youth trying not to get pregnant, and then suddenly we’re like – how does this even work?!”

There are of course many reasons why women aren’t able to talk about their health openly and comfortably. Nina experienced this firsthand, growing up in the more conservative west of Norway. “It’s very hard to be open about who you are in more conservative cultures,” she recognises. “Our work with refugees was one of the things that really motivated us to start off with this work,” adds Ellen. “We met women who were scared of using contraception because they were scared people in their family would find out and think they were having sex. But they weren’t, they were just having really painful or problematic periods, and they needed contraception for that but they were scared to use it because of the social repercussions.”

But this goes further than religion and cultural practices. One of the biggest myths that the pair is trying to bust is entrenched in popular culture; what they call "the vagina fraud". Put simply? “There’s absolutely no medical test that can prove if a woman is a virgin or not.” But what about the hymen? “There’s so many examples in popular culture, where people talk about the hymen and virginity, as if you are totally different before and after.” Even practised doctors have absolutely no way of telling whether a woman is a virgin. “This holiness about the vagina is unhealthy. You wouldn’t call a lesbian grown woman with lots of sexual experience a virgin, it’s absurd.”

So how has this myth stuck around for so long? “Every culture has been spending so much attention on female virginity and not male virginity,” suggests Nina, explaining that it may have a lot to do with men wanting to make sure they were bringing up their own children. Women know their baby is theirs; they live with it for nine months. Men don’t. “It comes down to men trying to control a woman,” says Nina matter-of-factly.

From virginity to pregnancy to the anatomy of our vaginas, there is so much that we don’t know. And this is a problem, for men and women, because women’s everyday problems aren’t taken seriously. At all. “The point is that the majority of society are heterosexual and live in heterosexual couples when we are adults, so we spend a lot of our adult lives with men,” says Ellen. “And the fact that we can’t talk openly about these things that are such a huge part of our lives, really puts a strain on women.”

Time to get to know The Wonder Down Under.

For more news and reporting on cosmetic and non-cosmetic procedures targeted at women's vaginas, visit our #YourVaginasFine microsite.

Read these next:
This Website Answers The Question "Is My Vulva Normal?"
What Women Really Think About Casual Sex
Is The 'Husband Stitch' Really Just A Myth?

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

This Oscar-Winning Netflix Documentary Explores Menstruation Taboo

8 Annoying Things That Can Cause Breast Pain

Why I Tattooed My Tubular Breasts

Sophrology Is Set To Be The Next Big Wellness Trend, But What Is It?

0
0

A couple of years back, after an unexpected and gut-wrenching break-up, I was all over the place – so I threw myself into my yoga practice in the hope of regaining some equilibrium. One day I saw a flyer on the noticeboard at the yoga studio. “Reduce stress and manage emotions,” it said. “Detach and refocus. Instil calm.” Oh yes please, I thought. But what was it? Mindfulness? Meditation? Buddhist chanting? No. Sophrology.

Soph-what? “Almost nobody knows about sophrology in the UK,” said Francoise Falaise, a Belgian who would become my sophrology teacher. “There are thousands of practitioners on the continent, but it’s still just beginning here.” The intention of our first session together, she said, would be "to take distance from tensions and refocus".

And so we began our sessions, meeting weekly. Some very simple breathing exercises and gentle body movement were followed by a guided meditation where I lay on the floor and Francoise talked me through a relaxing journey of letting go. It was very nice but so subtle I wondered if I was missing something. I did feel very calm afterwards, though.

The objective of the next session was to “install detachment”. We did neck exercises – with mindful breathing, I gently shook my head to say ‘no’ to negative emotions and nodded to say ‘yes’ to detachment. It felt a bit weird, but fine. I exhaled negativity and breathed in detachment, followed by more exercises to reinforce assertiveness (mindful breathing while stretching and reaching upwards) and a ‘virtual walk’ where I walked on the spot, visualising my capacity to walk away from emotional upset in a controlled way.

Afterwards I did feel curiously detached. Francoise said that in order for these feelings to become integrated within me, I needed to do the exercises at home too, so that they became part of my daily routine. Luckily they were very simple and didn’t take long. It felt like the subtle installation of a sort of time delay between feelings and my reactions to them – almost like a body-based cognitive behavioural therapy.

After a few more sessions, Francoise moved to Panama City and I got on with my yoga, my busted heart taped back together with sophrology and vinyasa flow.

The practice is set to expand in the UK. Swiss sophrology teacher Dominique Antiglio has just written a comprehensive English-language book, including audio, for home practice: The Life-Changing Power Of Sophrology. She has a practice in Mayfair, London.

“There are dozens of titles in French,” she says. “Sophrology for athletes, the corporate world, sleeping, pregnancy, midwifery..."

The founder of sophrology, Alfonso Caycedo, travelled around China, Tibet and India, distilling the teachings of yoga, meditation and Buddhism, and translating them for the West. It’s access to consciousness for everyone, without having to spend years meditating or standing on your head. It’s a simple, powerful technique. Having said that, there are 12 levels of sophrology, so you can go as deeply into it as you wish.

Antiglio explains: “The key differentiator between sophrology and mindfulness or meditation is the ability to take control of how we handle situations and feel about outcomes – one of the principles in sophrology states that we can decide how we are going to experience certain events even when we can't change them.

“We are therefore responsible for our experience and how we respond to situations. It is more dynamic than meditation and uses a number of techniques including breathing, relaxation, body awareness and visualisation to help you connect with your resilience and improve your mental and physical health.”

Irish sophrologist Niamh Borrel used the practice to help with chronic pain. “The main difference between sophrology and other methods is that you can reach a deep level of zen state much quicker – sometimes even in one session, depending on the individual,” she says. “We call this the sophroliminal level of consciousness. The beauty of sophrology is that you can do it anywhere. There is no need for special gear. You can do it sitting down, standing up or lying down.

“It can be easily used by someone in a hospital bed about to go into surgery, or by someone just sitting enjoying the present moment on a train, or by athletes using it to increase mental focus, or ballerinas and gymnasts. Or even parents dealing with a stressful day at work, and later on with hyperactive kids at home.”

So there you have it. It’s not yoga, it’s not mindfulness, it’s not meditation, it’s not T’ai Chi – and it’s not yet established in the English-speaking world. But if it’s used effectively by everyone from women in labour to Olympic athletes, it can only be a matter of time before sophrology enters our wellness lexicon.

6 things to know about sophrology

1. The term comes from the Greek ‘sos’ (harmony) and ‘phren’ (mind).

2. It was founded around 1960 by Colombian neuropsychiatrist, Alfonso Caycedo at the University of Madrid. He combined various influences – hypnosis, Western relaxation methods, Japanese zen, yoga, and Buddhist meditation – to treat depression, and war veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder.

3. Unlike traditional talking therapies, sophrology is not about discussing the narrative of your life; it’s about zooming out, and creating a space between your inner emotional balance and any difficult feelings. You don’t suppress your feelings but consciously let them go and redirect them, using physical movement and breath work.

4. Sophrology is currently used by the French rugby team, its uses within sports psychology discovered when the Swiss ski team won lots of medals at the Grenoble Winter Olympics in 1968 after being coached by sophrologist Dr. Raymond Abrezol.

5. As well as being used to help treat sleep disorders and in preparing for birth, sophrology may also have benefits for sufferers of stage fright and exam nerves.

6. Such is its popularity in France and Switzerland that sophrology is routinely covered by health insurance; it is even taught in schools, to help kids manage the rigours of adolescence.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

"It'll Be Fine, It's Just One Line": What It's Like To Relapse At 26

The Best ASMR Videos To Calm You Down

I'm An Eating Disorder Survivor & I'm Glad Veganuary Is Over

16 Two-Tone Looks To Try For Spring

0
0

Have you ever found the perfect jumper, only to get caught between two beautiful shades? Instead of putting yourself through apparel anxiety, why not buy a jumper (or skirt, or dress) that does both colours in one? Whether you call it two-tone, bicolour or colour blocking, the trend is appearing on the catwalk, in beauty – even interior design.

As seen at Roksanda SS18, a pink satin gown layered over trousers in red, yellow or blue is a fresh take on casual elegance. The likes of Céline, Molly Goddard and Fyodor Golan have also embraced contrasting colours for their spring collections. Where monochrome has long been the favoured twosome, spring style is going beyond black and white to a world of colour combinations. Of all painterly pairs, pink and red continues to reign supreme, as seen in Kitri's much sought-after Phoebe pink rollneck jumper, which sold out within 48 hours. “Colour blocking is the best way to modernise simple silhouettes and give a vibrant and fashion-forward edge,’' says Haeni Kim, the brand's founder.

We may have missed our chance at the Phoebe jumper but there's a wealth of two-tone treasures still out there. Click on for our favourites...

This beautiful powder blue and navy two-tone dress from Kitri is perfect for day to evening. The lightweight silk will move beautifully while you walk, plus it has pockets! Elegant, yet functional.

Kitri Sofiane Blue Silk Midi Dress, £225, available at Kitri

An elegant flare dress that's perfect for walking along the beach and watching the sunset.

Mango Pleated Bicolor Dress, £99.99, available at Mango

A fresh twist on the cut-out one-piece from Solid & Striped's 'Swim Team' design collaboration with supermodel Jourdan Dunn.

Solid & Striped The Jourdan Cutout Two-Tone Swimsuit, £145, available at Net-A-Porter

This casual carryall was crafted for Mango Committed, a special capsule collection of environmentally sustainable pieces.

Mango Texture Bicolor Bag, £19.99, available at Mango

... and if you like a matchy look then try coordinating with these sandals.

J.Crew Colorblock Cora Crisscross Sandals, £69.50, available at J.Crew

We love this midi skirt from Zara. The curved contrast between the brick orange and the black elongates the torso.

Zara Two-Tone Pleated Skirt, £29.99, available at Zara

It's no secret that fuchsia and red is a match made in two-tone heaven. If you're up for a splurge then we suggest this sophisticated statement.

Staud Joyce Two-Tone Crepe de Chine Jumpsuit, £265, available at Net-A-Porter

Kitten heeled mules are perfect for bringing a little sophistication to a casual spring outfit.

Schutz Two-Tone Mules, £168, available at Farfetch

A new take on the classic hoop with silver and gold tones in various sizes.

Finery Maley Mis Match Hoop and Ring Earrings, £22, available at Finery

This cute, comfortable espadrille is making us want to book a ticket to a beautiful cobblestoned city.

Alexachung Denim Flat Jean Stitch Espadrille, £175, available at Alexachung

We love a transitional piece that can move gracefully between work and evening cocktails. Plus, the asymmetrical cut of this silk midi gives a modern and eclectic feel.

Tibi Delphina Striped High-Rise Midi Skirt, £550, available at Matches Fashion

Strawberries and cream come to mind when we see this comfy cable-knit jumper.

Mango Bicolor Cable-Knit Sweater, £49.99, available at Mango

This unique bucket bag holds a special place in the hearts of many a fashion influencer. Worn by the likes of Leandra Medine, Aimee Song and Lisa Aiken, Staud has introduced two new shades of the Moreau exclusively for Net-A-Porter.

Staud Moreau Two-Tone Macramé and Leather Bucket Bag, £310, available at Net-A-Porter

An essential for the warmer months, with a fresh tangerine trim.

Whistles Colourblock Dome Summer Hat, £45, available at Whistles

This cute structured mini bag can be used as a crossbody, handbag or clutch with a detachable shoulder strap and handle.

Zara Two-Tone Mini City Bag, £29.99, available at Zara

A versatile midi, which you can dress up or down depending on the occasion.

Warehouse Colourblock Pleated Dress, £79, available at Warehouse

Read These Next:
Refinery29's Spring Style Wish List
7 Fresh Shoe Trends To Step Into For Spring
36 Fashion Designers On The Women Who Inspire Their Work

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Hood By Air Is Coming Back From Its Hiatus

Enter: JoAni Johnson, The 67-Year-Old Model Defying Every Fashion Stereotype

Mulberry Just Reminded Everyone Why Us Brits Are Known For Our Style

Viewing all 19505 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images